Page 105 of How We Loved

He motions for me to lay back and I do, allowing him to slowly cover me with his large frame.

His hand moves down my arm and under my shirt. Just the feel of his palm against my skin sends goose bumps throughout my entire body. He must feel them because he stops kissing me for a second to look me in my eyes.

He lifts that same hand up to move my hair out of my face.

“What?” I ask shyly.

“I just want to look at you.”

I smile as I look up at him, staring into the eyes of my best friend, who I now know is so much more. He’s the absolute love of my life, and he always will be.

We both fought this for so long, acting like what we did, how we acted with one another, was normal. Everyone else saw it but us. We didn’t want to see it, for fear of losing what we had. We didn’t want to cross that line, but now that we have, he’s right; there’s no going back.

I wouldn’t want to go back.

There’s this level of comfort when I’m with him that makes me want to be nowhere else.

“You terrify me,” he admits, barely above a whisper. “I love you so much it hurts.”

I place my palm on his face. “I love you, Ben. I’ve loved you for years now. You’ve always been my person. Now, you’re even more.”

He drops down and kisses me with a sense of relief that I can feel washing off of him and pouring into me, so much so that I feel him shaking. For years, he’s taken care of me, lifted me up and protected me from anything and anyone.

Now, it’s my turn to take care of him.

I motion for him to roll over, and he goes with a sigh, like he’s glad I did. I’m not sure how much longer he could have hidden what was obviously going on inside of him.

I don’t want him to hide anything from me—not ever again.

I crawl on top of him, and now, it’s my turn to stare into his eyes.

With my legs straddling him, I lift up and bring my shirt over my head to remove it completely. His eyes darken as he takes in my body for the first time.

He brings his arms to me and wraps his large hands around my small waist as I reach and remove my bra completely. When his palms grasp my breasts, I cover his with my own hands, keeping them there, making sure he knows they belong to him now.

I lift up again, this time to remove his shirt. When I lean back down, our bare skin touching each other for the first time, he lets out a moan that fuels what I’m doing even more.

He places his hand on my cheek, so I stop kissing him and look into his eyes.

“Maya,” he whispers, his hesitation obvious, “I don’t have a condom with me.”

A small smile graces my lips. “It’s okay. I ended my period yesterday, so we’re all good.”

“But I want to protect you.”

My heart melts at his admission. Always my protector.

“We’ll wear it next time. I want to feel you. All of you this time.”

It’s like the thought of hearing there will be a next time with us lifts his spirits, and the cocky boy I’ve known all my life returns with a devilish grin as he flips me to my back with the ease of turning over a piece of paper.

I yelp in surprise, then laugh as he leans back down, kissing my neck and moving down my body until he’s at my leggings, where he slides them and my panties off of me completely.

He gets up to kick off his shoes, then removes his pants and boxers too.

He lies back on top of me, and warm sensations fill my entire body. I’ve never felt so safe, so loved as I do in his arms.

“Are you sure?” he asks, kissing my lips between every word.

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