Page 50 of How We Loved

Dalton’s eyebrows rise in disbelief. “And you didn’t sock him right then and there?”

“Believe me, I wanted to, but Maya would have killed me and probably believed him over me at this point. I confronted him, and he said he’d tell her I just want inside her pants, too.”

“Which you do,” Dalton says playfully making me smack his arm before turning around to pace.

“I know you don’t believe me when I say it’s not like that with Maya, but it’s not.”

“No shit, Ben! It’s because you love her. You don’t just want to fuck her. It’s a thousand times more than that. I see it even more now that I am with Natalie. I know exactly how you feel about her, you just need to see it, too.”

I sit down on the bench and put my elbows on my knees, dropping my head to my hands and letting out a sigh.

He places his palm on my shoulder. “You got it bad, bro. You need to figure this shit out, and make sure Maya knows this guy isn’t right.”

I shake my head. “How did I let this happen?”

After school, I walk to my truck, but before I can open my door, a red car catches my attention. I look up and instantly lock eyes with Maya. She’s ignored me basically all day, but now that we’re here, just the two of us, she raises her hand and waves at me. It’s not with her same spark though. Everything about her today has been off, and this proves it.

I just wish I knew why she was acting so differently.

I wave back and open my door as she drives away.

When I crank the engine, my stereo blasts, and I lay my head against the seat, taking a few breaths now that I’m alone. I’ve never had someone’s actions bother me as much as Maya’s did today.

I’m just confused as to why I feel this way.

Especially because it wasn’t just how she acted with me today. It was everything about her.

She’s normally this bubbly thing that bounces around, making everyone happy. That was far from how she acted today though. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear she was sick, but I know that’s not it. There were no other signs of her not feeling well. It was something different.

The longer I sit here, the more jumbled my brain becomes, so I put the truck in reverse and back out of my parking spot.

Knowing I have nowhere to go and nothing to do just frustrates me even more, so I take a turn on the road that leads to Mason Creek. Maybe a drive up to the lake there will clear my head.

Because I feel like I’m a glutton for punishment right now, I grab my phone and put on “Pretty Little Poison” by Warren Zeiders and rest my head against the seat as I let the song play around me, engulfing both my mind and my senses.

When Dalton played us this song at my house last month, all I could think about was Maya. She was always this thing in my life that I had so many feelings for, feelings I wasn’t sure I even fully understood.

But she was also like poison to me, poison that I knew I had to stay away from.

At least, that’s what I always told myself.

Now, I’m not so sure.

When the song says, “She’ll probably be the death of me. But damn if it ain’t sweet,” I feel that shit so deep in my soul that it hurts.

I don’t know what I thought we would become or how our lives would be when we were older, but I know I never imagined my life without her. That was never even an option.

Now, I feel like she’s slipping away, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

I sing at the top of my lungs, “My pretty little poison,” hoping it heals whatever is going on in my heart and my mind for at least the time being.

Right now, that’s all I can ask for. I’ll have to figure out the rest as time goes by.

There’s one thing for sure though: she can’t cut me out of her life completely.

I wouldn’t survive it.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

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