Page 67 of How We Loved

I lock eyes with Natalie, who gives me a somber expression in return. She knows that Trevor doesn’t want me hanging out with Ben. I don’t know what I would have done if I couldn’t have called her. Ben was always my person to turn to for everything, but obviously, I couldn’t go to him with this. He’d never understand, and it just would have made the situation worse.

Though it breaks my heart to step back from our friendship, Trevor’s right. When I think about any other girl in school, none of them have guy friends as close as I do. It’s just not a thing.

The warning bell rings, so I close my eyes, inhaling a deep breath, then open them and head to first period.

When I look down at my phone, I see my text thread with Ben open to the five messages he sent me last night and again this morning, all asking why I’m ignoring him and what is going on.

My heart pangs at the thought that I’ve upset him, but it’s time we start going our separate ways. It was going to happen eventually anyway. There’s no way we could keep this kind of friendship going when we would both have separate lives with our own families in the future. It’s best to just rip off the Band-Aid now. Once he finds a girlfriend he really loves, he’ll understand why I’m doing this.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Maya

The last week at school has been rough with keeping my distance from Ben, but still hanging out with the girls in our group of friends. Seeing him upset over me not talking to him has been hard. It breaks my heart, but I keep telling myself that growing up isn’t always easy, and this is our first step into adulthood. Adulthood with separate lives.

My dad’s asked me a few times where Ben has been, but I was able to just say he was busy. I really wanted to talk to him about what was going on, get some things off my chest, but I’m afraid he won’t like Trevor if I do. Ben is family to him, and I don’t think he’ll understand why Trevor feels this way. If Trevor and I do last, it will be this thing that tarnishes our relationship in his eyes—I just know it, and I don’t want that.

But I miss my best friend.

I miss him so much that, daily, I go from being happy with Trevor to being sad that this huge part of my life is gone.

I always knew, eventually, we’d end up with other people. I just figured he’d find someone first. Maybe that’s it. I was prepared for this, but I know he wasn’t.

Now, we’re on Thanksgiving break, and though we’re off school, Trevor needed to pick up some shifts, so he’s been working every day, then having to help his father with stuff at home as well. We’ve gotten to spend some time together, but nowhere near as much time as I hoped.

Today is Thanksgiving, and after we both hang out with our families, I’m driving up to Springstown, where his mom invited me to join them for dessert. This will be my first official meeting with his dad. I’m both excited and nervous at the same time. I just hope he likes me.

First though, we are having our own Thanksgiving. This is a holiday I normally love, but I’m dreading today due to where we are going. Every year since I could remember, Ben’s family and mine have had Thanksgiving together. It was a tradition that started before I was even born and something I was so grateful for after my mom passed away. That sense of normalcy it brought my life, which had been shattered into pieces, back together that first holiday season.

Now, I’m torn over wanting to have my family traditions, but knowing also that, at some point, family traditions change.

Over the years, my grandparents have joined us, as well as Ben’s grandparents, but they haven’t been at every one. They switch between our aunts’ and uncles’ houses, spreading their holidays between their children who don’t live in Leighton River.

That’s what’s happening now. We are growing up, and the traditions from our childhood will change every year until we create new traditions with our own families.

“You ready?” Dad calls out from the bottom of the staircase.

“Yeah,” I respond, then let out a sigh.

I didn’t know how to explain to my dad that Trevor doesn’t want me hanging out with Ben. The last thing I want is him thinking bad of Trevor, so he has no clue how I’ve been separating myself from Ben at school. Yes, he knows Ben doesn’t take me to school anymore, and thankfully, he hasn’t really questioned why. But Ben not giving me rides to school and my barely talking to him at all are two different things—and he isn’t fully aware of the latter. I’d like to keep it that way, too, until I can figure all of this out. The last thing my dad needs is to worry about me.

I walk down the stairs to see my dad grinning from ear to ear.

“Don’t you look lovely.”

I glance down at my sweater dress that I paired with my black Prada booties. “Do you think it’s too fancy? I mean, to go to Trevor’s later?”

I didn’t know what to wear to his place. I know everyone dresses nice at Ben’s, but I have no clue what other people do for Thanksgiving.

He gives me a hug when I get to the bottom of the stairs. “No. Not at all. It’s very common for people to dress up for a holiday event. Especially if you’re joining them for the first time. You’ll fit in just fine there.”

I grin, hoping he’s right.

We head to Ben’s place in separate cars since I’m leaving early. My stomach turns as I exit the car and meet my dad at their front door.

We don’t bother knocking, as we never do, so when we walk in, we’re greeted with Ben’s mom, Sandy, yelling from the kitchen, “Is that you guys?”

“We’re here,” Dad yells back as he leans down to pet their dog, Jesse.

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