Page 124 of Don't Go Faking My Heart

"Oh, my AJ," Greg cries. "I didn't even read the caption when it showed up on my feed! I shared it because the boys are already losing their hair and I'm not, so I wanted to gloat! I'm sick that you thought I would leave you out in a post about all my kids!"

I can only sob.

"Do you remember the first time I came over?" he asks, wiping his cheeks with a handkerchief. "You climbed on to my lap and let me watch Phineas and Ferb with you, and the whole time, you asked a thousand questions about whatever invention they were working on. And when I made up some silly answer, you looked at me with stars in your eyes, and I was in love." He sniffs and clears his throat. "Sweet girl, you may not be the daughter of my flesh, but you are the daughter of my heart and soul. You're everything I ever wanted. Someone to talk Star Trek and comic books with? Someone to watch every season of Psych with? Someone who laughs at my dad jokes and listens to my stories like you actually care? How did I get so lucky to be your dad?"

"Then why didn't you adopt me?"

A cry rips from Greg's throat. "Frank wouldn't let me! We took him to court, showing that he refused to have a meaningful relationship with you, and he had a sob story for every missed birthday and Christmas. He had receipts from every single present he bought you, as if those were evidence that he cared. In the end, your mom and I decided that once you were 18, we'd talk about it again."

I'm crying so hard, and I want so badly to believe him. "But I brought it up and you didn't do anything! Winter break of my freshman year when I came home from Chicago."

It was Christmas morning, and I was tearing open a package and joked, "Is it adoption papers?" Greg looked so shocked that I backpedaled immediately. "Just kidding," I said. "What 18 year-old girl is going to court with her stepdad on adoption day?"

"Well, if you really want—" Mom started, but I stopped her. I was too worried Greg would think I was pathetic, and I didn't want to seem desperate to my own family.

"It was a joke, Mom. Everything's good. Let's open this present!" I said. I felt so stupid, so afraid that Greg was going to give some long, drawn out reason about why adopting me wouldn't work, and my brothers—stepbrothers—all watched us with this awkward grimace. Then when it was time for them to go visit their mom's grave at the cemetery the way they always did on Christmas, Greg asked if I wanted to come. And I felt like the worst person ever for making their pain about me. So I went into my room, cried, called my friends, and ate two bars of Toblerone.

And I never talked about it again.

Greg's mouth falls open, clearly thinking back to the same incident. "You said you were joking! I was so surprised, because your mom and I had talked about it a few nights before. We were planning to ask you if you would want to be legally adopted, so when you made a joke about it, I felt like a fool for assuming you'd care."

"Are you telling me the only reason I still have Frank's last name is because we were both afraid of offending each other?" I sob, my shoulders shaking from years of rejection that didn't need to be.

Greg gives me a weak, watery laugh. "Miscommunication tropes might suck, but no one can say they aren't based in reality." He tries to smile through his tears. "AJ, I love you. I know you're 27, but it would be the greatest honor of my life for you to have my name."

Tears pour down my cheeks. "Daddy! Yes!"

I hate that he's not here to hug me, that we're doing this over a phone screen. But I hug my arm around myself and cry happy, happy tears.

I might be two thousand miles from home, but there aren't many forces in the world more powerful than knowing your dad loves you.

"Now put Rusty on. I bet he's crying in the background."

My smile turns upside down. "I don't think Rusty and I are going to work out."

Dad snorts and wipes his nose. "Good one. Where is he?"

"He's at home. Or work, maybe. I don't know. I thought we were on track to be something more, but I don’t think he can do it."

"That's silly. I hope I didn't scare him off with our little chat." Dad chuckles.

"I forgot you guys chatted the other day. What did you talk about, anyway?"

"You. I called him and asked what his intentions with you are, because I know how scared he's been to take a step forward with you. He told me he'd never do anything to hurt you, and I told him every guy makes that promise, and every guy breaks it. Loving someone is doubling your pain. That's from one of Lou's songs."

"We're not fan-girling over Lucy Jane right now, Dad. What did Rusty say?"

"He said he's loved you for almost as long as he's known you. He said he'll wait as long as it takes for you to love him back. And he said he knows he’ll never be worthy of you, but he'd devote his life to taking care of you if you let him."

"His life?"

"AJ, this boy has nothing but long term in mind with you, if you're willing. The only reason he'd back out is if he thought he couldn't give you the forever you deserve."

I frown. I'm still in relative darkness, but the sun is low enough in the sky now that it's peering through my blinds and illuminating the side of my face in slits. I look like I've been cut open and the light inside me is shining out.

"I think I need to go have a chat with Rusty. I love you, Dad."

"Love you, too, my girl. I'll get the adoption papers in the mail ASAP."

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