Page 131 of Don't Go Faking My Heart

A handful of tables are reserved with signs that read "Canasta and Cocktails Only".

The Hens—Mrs. Beaty, Lola Nina, and Granny Belle—are seated at a table by themselves, probably because everyone else is a little intimidated by them. I am, too, but I'm too intimidated not to stop by.

"How are the most beautiful women in all of Sugar Maple?" I ask.

"Oh, you sweetheart," Lola Nina says, patting my cheek.

"You may be blowing smoke up our britches," Mrs. Beaty says, "but you always were a good boy."

I'm so tired of people saying that, I can't hold back a rebuttal. "I wasn't either. I was angry."

"Pfft," Granny Belle says. "Who wouldn't be angry with a no good bum of a father like yours? But you can be angry and good."

I huff.

Granny Belle raises both eyebrows at me so high, she creates new lines on her forehead. "Is that anyway to talk to your elders?"

"No ma'am. My apologies."

"Mm-hm." She side-eyes me. "Still a good boy, though. Nothing like your father." I don't snort, but I do look away. "He was a bully even young."

"He was," Mrs. Beaty says. "I had him in class. Never known a meaner boy at such a young age. Always tried to blame it on his father."

"Oh, Boyd." Granny Belle sighs and puts a hand over her heart. "He was a drunk, but he was a nice one."

"You knew him?" I ask.

"Knew him?" Granny Belle laughs loudly, but it's swallowed up in the bar sounds. "Boy, I married the man!"

I drop to the open seat. "I had no idea."

"Not too many people do. Or at least they're polite enough to only talk about it behind my back."

Mrs. Beaty and Lola Nina laugh.

"Bless your heart," Mrs. Beaty says, and the three of them hoot with laughter.

"Your grandfather, God rest his soul, was a kind man, just like you. He would do anything for the people around him. Did you know he dropped out of high school so he could join the army? Yes he did. He got sent to Korea and then got injured and sent home. We were married the day he got back, but only a few months later, I knew there was something wrong with him. He started drinking heavily. He'd seen too much and couldn't shake it. My father made me annul the marriage—told the judge that Boyd wasn't of sound mind. Maybe he wasn't. But it broke my heart to leave him. I never once heard an unkind word out of his mouth. I still think about him every day." She smiles at me with wet eyes. "You got all of his good parts and none of his bad."

"Arlo, on the other hand, got the opposite," Mrs. Beaty says. “None of his good parts and all of his bad."

I feel like I've stepped off a moving walkway and forgot to keep going. "But my dad said he was just like his father. He said he married my mom to escape?—"

"He lied," Granny Belle says, looking at me like she can't believe I would believe something so patently, obviously false. Water isn't wet. Grass isn't green. Rusty doesn't love Ash. "Arlo is a snake worthy of the Garden of Eden."

"But … my temper."

The three matriarchs laugh in unison. "What temper?"

"I'm always so angry."

"When?" Mrs. Beaty asks.

"Whenever I'm with Arlo."

"Join the club," Lola Nina says.

"And at Ash's ex."

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