Page 141 of Don't Go Faking My Heart

The crowd goes wild.

Mama always said,

“Love is doubling your pain,"

I always said,

“Nothing risked, nothing gained."

This was Lou's first song, and it's still her biggest, so it's no surprise when almost the entire crowd sings along to almost every word.

Double or nothing is how I roll

Double or nothing sure takes its toll

Lovin' you is easy, why is lovin' you so hard?

You made me a promise, and I take you at your word.

Rusty pulls me up to dance with him. I rest my head in the crook of his neck and watch my friend perform with so much energy and passion, it's like she was made for it.

"I can't believe she was nervous," Rusty says, his dreamy voice rumbling against my ear.

"Even sexy geniuses can miss what's right in front of their face sometimes," I say.

"You really are a sexy genius," Rusty says.

I laugh and kiss his neck. "Thanks, Hotcakes."

"Can I ask you something?" Rusty asks in a tone that isn't quite steady. "You made such a big deal about my friends’ abs, but you haven't done that with me. I know you love me, but am I … less than you wanted?"

I push back to stare at him. "Rusty, no! It's the opposite. The abs thing was part of my life, but it was a means to an end. It was an easy way to connect with people and to fit in. I made a show of objectifying Tripp and Sonny because my friends thought it was funny. It gave us something to laugh about. But ‘tummy waffles’ was also selfish. When girls found out I ran it, they wanted to be my friends. When guys found out I was in charge of a page they wanted to be on, I could pretty much date any guy I wanted to. Unfortunately, that meant the guys I dated?—"

"Sucked?"

"Precisely. But you mattered too much for me to reduce you like that. You were too important."

"And you didn't believe mine would be anything to write home about," he says.

"Not at all. I had no clue what a secret hottie you were."

"It wasn't a secret."

I smile. "No, it really wasn't. But I guess I never thought I could attract someone like you, when I'd only ever attracted jerks."

Lou changes songs to something upbeat, but Rusty and I keep slow dancing like we're the only people in the audience.

"It still makes me sick to think that you've ever spent a second with a guy like Philip," Rusty says. "When a guy like me was in the world. No, not just a guy like me. Me. I've had a crush on you since the moment I saw you. But I've loved you since you figured out I have dyslexia."

"That was our first time working together. We barely knew each other."

"I know. But you took all the awkwardness out of something I thought I was supposed to be ashamed of and showed me it was possible to own it and wear it with pride. I'd always felt like I needed to hide it or work around it. I knew right then that I would never find someone who inspired me to want to be my best self more than you."

I lean back into him and hug him tight. "I know what you mean. I spent so much time letting losers convince me that only they could make me whole. Your acceptance and love changed that. I didn’t realize how powerful it would be to feel whole all on my own."

Rusty squeezes me close and kisses my forehead as we watch Lou strum and sing with her eyes closed and her heart on full display.

Rusty's voice vibrates at that sexy, low frequency intended just for me. "You also didn't realize how powerful it would feel to be loved by someone with really nice abs." I laugh. "I mean really nice abs,” he says. “Easily the top five you've ever seen."

---