Page 46 of Don't Go Faking My Heart

"But this isn't a company," Ash says.

I glance at Millie, because she's usually the one to make sense of people's emotional angst, but she's looking at me.

"What do y'all think we should do?" Lou asks the group.

"Use the connections," Jane says, and Parker, Millie, and Sonny all agree.

All of them.

Then Ash looks at me.

The thing is, I think Lou is right. I've sat in plenty of meetings with Jane & Co., and I've seen a lot of stuff get hashed out. When I'm asked for my opinion, I give it. If this were business-as-usual, I'd tell her I agree with Lou. But everything is different now. The second Philip showed his face, the stakes became higher.

I want to help my town more than just about anything.

I want to help Ash more than everything.

And besides, if she doesn’t partner with a single famous person, I still think it’ll be a success, because she came up with it.

"I support whatever Ash thinks is best."

I don’t know what I expected, but the way Ash is studying me ain’t it.

Shoot.

What did I do?

"Let's take a break," Millie says. She pushes back from her chair and stretches. "I need another Diet Coke if we're going to keep hashing this out. But we have a hard stop at five p.m., gang. Lottie has a T-ball game tonight, and you're all invited." Millie takes everyone's drink orders and then looks at me. "Rusty, come with me and help me carry all these, will you?"

"I'll come, too. I want nachos," Lou says.

When we get out to the street, the sun’s high enough that our shadows are squat beneath us. I watch them as we walk, the way my hands are stuffed into my pockets, the way Millie and Lou’s swing freely.

"If it were up to you, would you use Lou and Sonny and Duke to market the town?" Lou asks.

"Yes."

"Then why didn't you say that?" Lou smacks my shoulder.

"Because I meant what I said."

“But you didn’t tell her your opinion! Ash needs you to be you, Rusty. Philip lied to her constantly. He always said it was for her own good, but, well, he was lying."

Great. If I didn't already battle with feeling like I'm a bad person, now I'm being compared to a guy who emotionally abused her for months?

My stomach sours.

"You're nothing like him," Millie stresses. "Nothing."

“I know I’m not,” I say, and I’m surprised by the surety in my voice. “But I wasn’t lying. I’m positive that whatever she comes up with will work out.”

I hold the door open for them at the diner, and a few minutes later, we're walking out with drink carriers and Lou's nachos.

"So maybe you weren’t lying,” Lou says. “But you were holding back your thoughts to give her the support you think she wanted. Is that right?”

“Maybe, yeah.”

“I think that may be a pattern worth looking at,” Lou says. “You show her pieces of yourself, but she’s never seen the whole picture.”

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