Page 50 of Don't Go Faking My Heart

I catch Rusty's eye, and he winces. Then he gestures to the other kids, as if to say "sorry, coaching responsibilities."

Mmm hmm.

"Would that be so bad if I were Rusty's girlfriend?" I ask her. I'm not lying by asking a question, so my conscience is mostly fine.

Fine adjacent.

"Yes! Because you have another boyfriend, and Noah's mom said he came to Sugar Maple to win you back. You can't have two boyfriends!"

"I have two boyfriends," Ava D says, putting her hand on her hip. "Liam and Josiah."

"Josiah said he only wants to marry me but he has to pretend to like you cuz you pull his hair at church if he doesn't," Lottie says.

"Fine, then I'll have to marry Liam."

"Yuck!" a little boy I can only assume is Liam says. "I never want to get married. Girls are gross."

"Put a cork in it, Liam," Ava D says. "We're gettin’ married."

"Lottie," Rusty interrupts, "you're on deck." Rusty hands her a helmet, and she gives him a big hug.

"It's not fair, Uncle Rusty. Why do you have to love her?"

Rusty kneels down and puts the helmet carefully on Lottie's head. "For one thing, grown ups have to love other grown ups." Lottie's lips turn downward in a deep frown. "But also, you can't choose who you fall in love with."

"But why do you love her?"

My breath grows shallow and quiet, like I don't want to miss a syllable. But that's crazy, because this is a charade. It doesn't matter if?—

Shut up, brain!He's talking!

"I love her because she's smart and creative and views the world in a way that makes me view it differently. She's hilarious and keeps me on my toes. She always sees the best in other people, and she makes me want to be a better m?—"

"That's boring," Ava D interrupts, and I have never wanted to shut a little kid up more. "I like Liam because he's cute."

Liam pulls his shirt over his face. "I don't want to marry you!"

"I think Ash is the most beautiful woman in the world," Rusty says to Ava. "Sometimes, I lose my words when she comes into a room, because there's no space left in my head for anything except thoughts of her." His eyes meet mine for only an instant, and I burst into flames.

ACTUAL FLAMES.

"Is that better, Ava?" Rusty says.

Ava D nods.

Lottie is pouting, but it's her turn on deck, so Rusty escorts her out. "Lottie, the boy who marries you one day will be the luckiest boy in the world," Rusty says as they walk. I don't hear the rest of what he tells her, but I watch their every step with a pang in my heart.

Rusty said you can't choose who you fall in love with.

I would do anything to change that. Rusty has game I didn't know existed, but instead of making me wish he was this guy all of the time, I can't stop wondering which version is the real Rusty. And why does it bother me to have to give up either when this is all over?

When Lottie steps up to the tee, she misses on the first swing, the force of her bat causing her to make a full spin in the dirt. Duke stands next to his daughter giving her gentle guidance, and Millie and all our friends cheer in the stands.

On her next swing, she hits a grounder that rolls all the way to the outfield. Every single kid on the opposing team chases after the ball, with kids falling all over each other to try to get it. When one kid emerges with the ball, another kid on his team rips it from his hands before a third child tries to grab it. The coaches run out to try to break up the melee while Lottie runs the bases and scores a homerun.

In the end, she's forced to go back to first—this league really doesn't let them crush the competition—but when she comes back to the dugout and Josiah tells her it was a good hit, she smiles at me.

I think Lottie and I will be okay.

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