Page 84 of Don't Go Faking My Heart

She smiles so wide, I shake my head. "I don't mean it like that."

"You're a real Don Juan up in here."

I laugh. "Stop. You know what I mean."

"I sure do, Casanova."

"Don't make me go downstairs to sleep."

"I can tease you as easily downstairs as up."

This woman.

I grab a pillow from underneath her, pull a blanket from the ottoman at the foot of my bed, and toss both on the couch. Then I meet Ash in the bathroom. She has her purse out, which is big enough that she pulls some wipes out and washes her face.

"Uh, any chance you have a spare toothbrush? I can swap you for some lotion, a swimsuit, a charging cord, hand sanitizer, six different shades of lipstick, or a pack of gum."

“A swimsuit?”

“Yup. That was one of the first lessons Greg ever taught me. When you live in Colorado, there are always so many rivers and lakes around that you always keep a spare swimsuit with you. Don’t you?”

“No, I do not.”

“Rookie,” she chuckles.

“I have a spare head for my electric toothbrush,” I tell her. “Will that work?"

She nods. "This feels like a preview of us at 80. If we were an old married couple, I mean."

Her face is going red and she puts a hand over her mouth and fakes a yawn. I know it's fake because, well, it's so obviously fake.

What's going on here?

I put on the spare head and let her brush first. She starts doing squats as she brushes. I stare at her, and she laughs, then covers her mouth. She spits and returns to her squats. "Stacking habits. Millie told me about it."

"Smart," I say.

"Lazy," she says, her mouth filling again with toothpaste. She's able to get 45 squats in before she finishes, and they're deep enough that I imagine she's felt at least a little burn. She rinses and removes the head and gives me the rest of the toothbrush.

And now she watches me brush.

This is a problem, because I always close my eyes when I brush. I don't dare close them now, though. Knowing her, she'll be fast asleep on the couch by the time I get back.

Although, that would give me an excuse to pick her up again …

I let my eyes close, and sure enough, when I've finished, Ash is nowhere to be seen. I turn off the light and find her on the couch, with Pookie curled up on the floor.

"Nice try," I say. I scoop her up and deposit her on the bed, and she feigns sleep the entire time. "I can see you trying not to smile."

"I smile in my sleep," she whispers. "Shh."

I put her on the bed, kiss her temple, and then return to the couch.

"Good night, Hotcakes," she says with a yawn from the bed.

I yawn, too. "Night, Gorgeous."

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

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