Page 96 of Don't Go Faking My Heart

Philip is a hangnail I put a bandaid over a long time ago. It’s time to clip it.

I look at him. "Are you okay?"

"What?"

"You flew all the way out here to overhaul a small town that should have been a gimme, and you lost. Is your grandpa going to be upset?"

"I haven't lost."

“Oh, okay,” I say.

“I haven’t!”

“Good for you.”

“You’re unhinged. You’re hysterical.”

I flip my hair like I’m Elle Woods. “Thank you! I am hysterical.”

Growing up in Colorado, there were mountain passes and "beware of falling rocks" signs everywhere. Once in high school, a rock the size of a golf ball fell from a cliff, bounced on the highway, and smashed into the windshield of my Subaru. I watched the glass fracture out from that point of impact, creating a fragile spiderweb. A strong gust of wind could have finished the job and left me sitting in a pile of shattered glass.

My words are that point of impact in Philip's thin veneer. The fractures are spreading.

But his front hasn't shattered yet. He moves his target. "I'm worried about you, Ashley. All these famous friends, this boyfriend, heck, your own family—they don't get you. You're not like other people. Your own dad rejected you. I'm the only one who understands you. I mean, look at you!"

I look down at myself. I don't have Jane's legs or Millie's curves or Parker's arms and back. I don't have Lou's otherworldly mystique. What I do have is all me, though. "I know. I’m fabulous, aren’t I?" I spot a face behind Philip that makes me grin, and that makes Philip’s eye twitch.

"You think your boyfriend likes you because you're pretty or special, or something? He likes you because you're crazy. Every guy knows crazy girls make the hottest?—"

Rusty grabs Philip's shoulder and whips him around.

"What did you say to my girlfriend?" Rusty says in a tone so sinister, Batman would be envious.

Philip shakes his head, not backing down but not looking Rusty in the eye. "Easy, bro. It was just a joke."

Rusty's fists are clenched by his side. I stand behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. "No, you're a joke. What you said was inexcusable."

"Dude, you're way off base. This was just a chat between exes that got a little heated."

"Then maybe I can help you cool off outside."

"You don't have your big friend here this time."

"I don't need him."

"Right,” Philip says. “Whatever you have to tell yourself, Fight Club. You and Ashley are perfect for each other. You're both nuts."

"You should watch what you say about my girlfriend."

"Resorting to threats, are we Rusty?"

Rusty has slowly backed Philip up to the exit door. Patty comes out from behind the bar to follow us.

Philip's back hits the panic bar, and he stumbles outside. He's buzzed enough to be bolder than normal but sober enough to stay steady on his feet. "You're a big man when you're wearing pads."

"And you're a little man who threatens women. But if you'd like to finish what we started on the rink, I'm not wearing pads now."

Rusty hasn't laid a finger on Philip. He's so intimidating, his very presence is overpowering my useless ex.

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