Page 24 of The Coach

We agreed.

“Well, maybe he’s just got something going on at home,” I offer.

Lincoln pauses, his hands cradling his sandwich, and he glares at nothing in the distance while he thinks. My brows furrow, and I stare impatiently at my brother, he’s always done this when he’s thinking about something, and it’s always, always, annoyed me.

“Nah, that’s not it.” He finally concludes and takes a giant bite.

I sigh and listen as he rants about other aspects of his life. I nod in the appropriate places and allow him to get his troubles off his mind.

I love being my little brother’s sounding board. I’ve always been there for him when he needs to talk, and I love him, but right now, my mind can’t stop thinking about Tanner.

About him taking his frustrations out on the team when it was me he was frustrated with, when I was the reason he was upset. So why didn’t he call? Why not talk it out with me?

Maybe he wasn’t sure he could. I could be his friend…

I sigh. We could never be just friends. I just couldn’t do that. The thought of being the person he called when he needed someone to talk to was appealing. The thought of being the woman he called when he was having issues with someone he was dating or trouble with the team, fitting in and finding appropriate friends… no, I couldn’t do it.

I sigh, rubbing my forehead and pretending to listen to my brother while my brain is stuck on a loop over the mistakes I’ve made in the last couple of weeks.

One in particular.

So what if he is my brother’s hockey coach? We were both adults.

Adults that could easily see each other without involving everyone else. And maybe it wasn’t the wisest decision, but for the better part of my life, I had always made the right decisions. I’ve always strayed away from hurting other people’s feelings, from making sure everything I did wasn’t going to hurt anyone else or make them feel uncomfortable.

Maybe it was time I was a little bit selfish.

The next day, I make my way to the grocery store to replenish what was eaten last night by my brother and his friend. Cassie was insistent that I do so, raging about how he’s always over bugging her and eating our food.

Again, that anger seems a bit much, but I don’t argue, and after my class, I head to the local supermarket. Luckily for me, I have the day off of work. and after my morning class, I need to find a way to fill my time.

My mind has been a teleprompter filled with thoughts about Tanner, with the way we left everything. Just like last night and the nights before, I am plagued with thoughts of ruining what might have been.

I wonder, in the distant part of my mind, if I self-sabotaged when I should have just gone for it.

He seems like an amazing man. Seems like the type to know what he wants and goes after it, which is maybe what I need after so much time around college fuckboys.

I shake my head at myself. There was no telling what might have been.

Despite telling myself that I was allowed to be selfish every once in a while, I was having a hard time letting go and allowing myself to do so.

The boxes of cereal stare back at me as I gaze upon them in front of me, debating which would be the best choice to give Cassie a good attitude, when I feel eyes on me.

Discreetly turning to the left, I spot him at the end of the aisle, a basket in one hand and eyes on me.

Shock steals my breath for a moment, and I take a second to talk myself into breathing normally. How is that so easy to forget whenever he is around?

Tanner wastes no time striding toward me, his long legs eating up the space between us. Somehow, even though the last time I saw him he was in date clothes, and he looked amazing, he looks even better in gym shorts and a t-shirt. You can tell a man is from colder climates if he’s wearing that in late October when the snow starts to show itself again in Colorado.

“Hi.” His hazel eyes seem to sparkle at me, and a grin tugs at his lips. My own reaction mirrors his—I can’t seem to stop it.

“Hello,” I clear my throat and try to act like he’s not affecting me in the least. “What ever brought you here?”

“Oh, just thought I’d take a look around.” He pretends to look up and down the aisle.

I nod and bite the inside of my cheek. “Yeah? Find anything you like?” It’s blatant flirting. I mean hell, I’m sure my own grandmother would roll her eyes at the words.

“You could say that,” he replies, his tone deeper, darker. I take an instinctive step back, my back hitting the shelves of overpriced cereal, and gaze up at him.

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