Page 30 of The Coach

“And you were good,” Tanner replies, no doubt in his tone.

“I was alright,” I hedge, not wanting to gloat over a skill I haven’t used in years. “I played through high school and then stopped when I came here.”

“Why did you stop?”

I shrug, “I knew I could keep going, play on the team here.” There was a really decent women’s team at this school. Its players were phenomenal to watch. “But it wasn’t what I really wanted. I love hockey, but I don’t want it to be my entire life, ya know?”I shake my head and cover my eyes. “Of course, you don’t know.” I chuckle. “Hockey is your whole life.”

He nods thoughtfully, gazing over me as his hand rubs my foot. “It has been my whole life. For a long, long time.” His expression holds its softness as he says, “But that’s not the only thing I’ve ever wanted. I’ve always wanted to find a partner for my life, someone I could confide in, someone I could be comfortable with and have fun with. Hockey ruled so much that it felt impossible to find someone who cared just about me, not about my role in hockey, not about the money I made or the friends I had. Just me.”He sighs, and I let him take a minute. “It wasn’t just that either. It was that I was so busy I didn’t feel like I could dedicate time to someone else. I didn’t want to be half in, ya know.”

I stare for a moment, absorbing his words and thinking that this man is probably too good to be true. What woman doesn’t want to hear that the man she’s insanely into is looking to find a life partner to settle down with.

“I don’t blame you for that,” I reply, swallowing and taking in my surroundings again. “For what it’s worth, I think getting to know just you, not Coach Mitchum or defenseman Mitchum, is more than enough. And it shows an insane amount of maturity that you knew you couldn’t be what you wanted for someone in your life then.”

He reaches for me, and I follow, the blanket that was wrapped around me coming with me. I settle onto his lap, my legs straddling his hips and my hands resting on his shoulders.

Tanner looks into my eyes and smiles slightly. “You’re good for me.”

I smile back. “I like to think so.” I pretend to preen before I chuckle. “I think you could be good for me, too.”

“I like you,” he counters.

“I…like you, too,” I say when I falter on a joke I wanted to make, wondering if he like likes me. He’s being serious, the least I can do is take his words seriously and be honest.

“I’ve never been with someone like you, someone I can let go and be myself with.” He runs a finger over my jaw before reaching behind my neck and grasping it tightly. “I have fun with you.”

The words, the simple little words that probably shouldn’t mean to me what they do, have my heart tumbling up through my throat, something in me gasping at how important they feel.

How important he feels to my life.

And I know somehow, at this moment, I was going to fall for Tanner Mitchum harder than I’d ever fallen before.

I had a very good feeling he was going to be there to catch me when I did.

And that was something I’d never been sure of before.

twelve

TANNER

We lost.

Not the end of the world, surely, but the team morale is down as we trudge into the locker room. I’m gathering my thoughts on what to say, what to use to encourage them. When I was on teams, the coaches yelled at us. There was no soft, sweet blow so as to not hurt anyone’s feelings. We were grown men. We took the losses on our chins and moved forward.

I want my team to keep pushing forward, but if there was one thing I was bad at as a coach, it was yelling at people.

I open my mouth to speak when Lincoln stands and raises his hand. “Uh, Coach, do you mind if I talk?”

Surprised, I nod my head and let him take the lead.

He stands in front of them and crosses his arms. “I know we’re all sitting here, beating ourselves up over the loss, but we don’t need to. We played hard, we played rough, we played clean,” he says, gesturing to the door that leads to the rink. He is likely thinking of how dirty the team we played was. They didn’t hold back, didn’t play as clean as I would have liked, while still staying within the rules. This is hockey. It is rough. “All we can do is regroup and prepare for tomorrow’s game, rest tonight, and think about coming out on top tomorrow. We’re not going to let those assholes beat us again.” Cheers come from a few guys, and I hide my smile as Lincoln goes back to his bench. His friends on the team respect him, and I’m proud of how he can stand up and speak for them.

I nod my head at Lincoln. “Ellis is right. We can do better tomorrow. They’ll be tired from playing dirty. They’ll be worn out, so tomorrow, we’ll take them down.” I wave my hand around. “Now, get your shit together and get to the hotel for some rest. No partying.” I do my best to stare them down, and to my surprise, they all seem to take my expression seriously, giving me nods and solemn looks.

Sometimes, my brain tricks me into thinking I’m still some twenty-two-year-old punk, that I should be the one getting lectured. Then I look in the mirror and am harshly reminded that I’m not a young guy anymore.

Not long after the game, we settle our team into the hotel. The coaches and I had dinner out, but I declined an after-dinner drink in favor of the solitude of my hotel room. I was sharing with Lee, but thankfully he had gone out with everyone else.

I don’t waste time once I’m settled on the bed, my back resting against the headrest, my suit shucked off, so I’m in just my boxers and nothing else.

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