However, ever since I’d gone stupid and fallen in love with someone, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from shedding the tears that now blurred my vision.
I was grateful that I had waited until the end of my shift to let him know, because now I could go out to my car, cry for a while, then head to Tanner’s game. Today was the first of his final two games.
Great. Just that thought makes me want to cry more.
I was really, really sick of crying.
I almost make it to my car when a figure straightens up near my door, and I slump my shoulders when I see my brother standing there.
“What do you want?” I say, still searching my bag for the keys that have magically disappeared into the bottom of my bag.
“I want to talk to you,” he says, stuffing his hands into his gym shorts pockets. I look at his face and see the light bruising under his eyes, showing that, like me, he hasn’t been sleeping.
I scoff a very sarcastic laugh, one that would normally make even me cringe, but anger swirls in my gut. I was so pissed at him. “Oh, now you want to talk? Not when I’ve left you dozens of voicemails, not when I’ve texted you relentlessly, not when I showed up, and you made Crew block me from entering your house? That was really shitty, by the way. Crew looked pretty upset. Oh, how about when I showed up at Mom’s because you were supposed to be there, and you ducked out the back door so you didn’t have to talk to me?”
He sighs, long and hard. “I’m sorry, okay? I wasn’t ready to have this conversation.”
I cock my head at him. “Have what conversation, Lincoln? I have tried countless times to apologize, to make you understand why I did what I did, and you won’t even listen to me.”
“I won’t listen to you? How about you not listening to me? We had an agreement, Mickey.”
“Oh please,” I say, “We made that agreement after Mark, and I had no intention of being with a hockey player again. But I think we can both agree that Tanner is just a bit more mature than Mark ever was.”
“He’s my freaking coach, Mickey. What do you want me to say?”
I growl and stomp my foot, unable to stop myself. “That you love me! That you give a shit about my happiness! That you see how happy I’ve been the past six months, and you’re glad I found someone who treats me well.”
“I can’t,” he replies, shuffling his feet. His hands pop out of his pockets, and he crosses his arms.
“Why not?” I’m exasperated with this conversation. I need to get out of it. When he doesn’t answer, I shake my head. “I have to go. I have a game to go to to cheer on my boyfriend.”
Lincoln sighs. “I don’t want you to get hurt!” His answer finally comes, and I purse my lips at him, throwing my fist into his shoulder and feeling somewhat better when he rubs the spot.
“You’re such a dick!” I yell at him. “You hurt me more than anyone by showing the board those damn pictures!”
“What?” His eyes blink in shock. “I didn’t.”
“Oh, really? You didn’t? Because I’m pretty sure they have them now, and it’s evidence that Tanner is dating a student.”
“Mickey.” Lincoln’s hands grasp my shoulders, stopping me from stomping around him and driving off in my car. “I swear, I didn’t show anyone those pictures.”
“Really,” I deadpan, not wanting to allow hope to win, when I want so badly to believe my baby brother wouldn’t betray me like that. Did he really not show them to Ed?
“Well.” He cringes, his hands tightening on my shoulders. “I showed Crew.” He starts before I can say anything. “But I didn’t mean to. He was with me when I got it.”
I grumble, crossing my arms and shaking my head. “You really didn’t show Ed?”
“No,” he says quickly, his brows furrowing. “I was pissed and in the moment. I had no intention of showing them to anyone.”
I study his face, his eyes, and see sincerity there. He’s telling the truth.
Still… “So, you’re okay with me dating Tanner? You’ll try?”
For a moment, Lincoln looks at me, and my hope of us finally putting this behind us wanes. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I sigh, letting my head fall forward, then I take a shuffling step back. “Lincoln, it’s not your responsibility if I get hurt. I have to take chances on things in life that could potentially make me happy, and you don’t get to pick what I should or shouldn’t do.”
He takes a step forward. “Mickey, I want you to be happy, but he’s a hockey player. I don’t trust him.”