Page 19 of The Captain

“Lincoln, I don’t—”

“Please.” I push closer and note she’s not pushing me away. She’s not holding me, but she’s not shoving me either. Her back is against the wall, and I hold my arm around her, relishing in the feel of her against me again.

Cassie’s chest moves up and down rapidly, her eyes not meeting mine for a full minute. When they do…I can’t help but lean down and rest my forehead on hers.

“I—” Fuck. Now that I’m here, words are failing me.

“Lincoln, we shouldn’t be in here. We can’t—”

“Please, don’t…don’t walk away from me.” I don’t know what context I’m even talking about. Right now or…at all.

Maybe both.

Her eyes glisten with tears, and it’s the last thing I want to see. “Sunshine, don’t cry. I hate when you cry.”

“I can’t help it,” she whispers to me, her voice rough with tears. “My heart is breaking.”

My chest aches at her words, and I pull her tighter to me, hoping that my closeness will somehow hold her heart together.

“I don’t want your heart to break,” I whisper, my lips grazing hers by accident.

Not in a kiss, though I desperately want to throw caution to the wind and slam my lips down on hers. I know I can’t do that. Not yet.

“I can’t even see you without it hurting, Lincoln. I can’t see you and put aside everything that’s happened.”

“I know you’re pissed at me,” I start, shaking my head slightly as I try to find the right words. “I know you are. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Her lips purse, and shit, they touch mine again. I’m sure we look intense, both pressed together as we have a conversation, my arms tightly wrapped around hers and her hands resting on my shoulders.

It’s a position we’ve been in before, just for different reasons.

“I’ve tried to make it right,” I start. “I tried to make amends for what I did, for everything. Tell me what to do.”

Her eyes latch onto mine, and I break again, seeing how utterly heartbroken she is. “I’m not sure you can do anything.”

I shake my head.

“No. I refuse to believe that’s true, Sunshine,” I retort, my voice dropping into a low growl. “I—”

I cut myself off because I can’t weaponize the phrase I’m dying to tell her. No matter how much it’s true, I can’t use it against her.

“I guess.” She shrugs, a tear streaking down her cheek. I reach up and wipe it away, my arm still banding her close to me. “Time. I don’t know. I need more time.”

My teeth grit and my eyes search her green ones. “Time? It’s been weeks.”

“I—” I see the apology forming on her lips. She doesn’t owe me a damn thing, so instead, I change the subject.

“How’s your mom doing?” I actually miss seeing her and her mom interact. It was one of my favorite things. And heading to Retro Bites for a study session with the woman in front of me had been one of the few highlights of my week.

Until I ruined it.

Cassie’s eyes find mine and soften. “She’s good. Brings you up a lot.”

“I’d love to see her.” I react quickly, hoping I could get an invitation to the diner. Not that it wasn’t a public space, but I don’t think I can handle going without Cassie.

“You should go see her. She loved you,” Cassie replies, not exactly giving me what I need, but…it was a start.

Someone knocks on the bathroom door, and Cassie looks over, startled. It’s enough to break the tension, and she lightly pushes on me, making me step out of her space.

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