I knew it wasn’t what he wanted to ask.
I needed to get back to hating him. Hating him was easier than pretending he never hurt me. Hating him was easier than pretending I didn’t care.
So, I channeled the Cassie that was convincing in my hate for Lincoln Ellis, and I let out a long sigh. “Fine. I guess. But give me a break from your presence for at least two days.”
It was a rude thing to say, and he should have looked like I’d socked him in the gut after I’d been so nice all day. After I’d come to his game and cheered him on, he was supposed to be irritated that I was resorting back to that easy hatred between us.
“Trust me,” he stated, licking his pillowy-looking lips. Ugh. Maybe I do hate him. But there was another strange gleam in his eye as he said, “I need the break from you just as much as you need one from me.”
Then he turned on his heel and marched out of my building like he was pissed off that he had to be in my space for even a moment.
For whatever reason, I went to bed with a smile on my face that night.
NINE
Cassie
Present
“Be honest. How embarrassing is it?” I ask my mom, licking the gooey chocolate off my finger.
Mom laughs and snags a marshmallow off the coffee table, dipping it in the melted chocolate and forgoing the graham crackers altogether. “It’s not embarrassing that you moved back home, honey. You need some time to get on your feet, to get your book published.” She glances back at me, her green eyes penetrating mine. A ’90s rom-com was paused on the TV, and suddenly, I was hoping we could get back to it and avoid any other discussion.
“Don’t give me that look.”
“Cassie, I know it’s a sensitive subject.”
“It’s not a sensitive subject,” I defend, reaching for my soda and playing with the tab on top. “I just feel a little stuck.”
Mom knows exactly why I feel stuck, she knows every nasty and sad little detail of my life.
“Well, I’m not going to push. Heck.” She reaches out and grasps my shoulder in a comforting squeeze. “I love having you here. Since Dad died, it’s just been you and me, kid. This house is awfully big for just me.”
Mom’s tone is sad, and I feel bad for not looking after her more. “How are you doing?”
Tonight, Marie and the rest of the staff at Retro Bites were taking over so Mom and I could have some time off.
I graduated college with my master’s and now work at a diner. It was a terribly negative thought, one I would never voice out loud, but I was feeling pretty down on myself.
Down enough that I don’t consider everyone else’s feelings enough.
“I’m all right, you know. I’ve got the diner, but…” Mom’s eyes snap to mine, and she turns to me. “It’s been a long time since your dad died.”
“Yeah,” I agree, thinking back to when I was a little ten-year-old going to fifth grade and coming home to find out my dad had a heart attack. It was sudden and unreal, it felt like one of my vivid dreams, and I spent three days wondering if I was stuck in a dream.
But I wasn’t. I was just stuck in a harsh reality.
“I’ve been alone for a long time,” she continues, holding my hand. “Since you went to college, I’ve been in this house alone.”
“You’re not thinking of selling the house, are you?” I know it was silly. It was just a house, the memories that were made here would live inside of us forever. But the thought of not having this place to fall back on was a scary one.
“No, honey, I’m trying to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
Mom takes a large sigh, big enough that I’m immediately on edge. “I’ve been seeing someone.”
I sit in shock, never expecting my mom to say something like that. “Seeing someone?”