Page 100 of Drown in You

“I said goodbye to Ten.” Tears sting my eyes, but I won’t let him see how much this is breaking me. “Now I’m saying goodbye to you. Don’t text me. Either version of you.”

Chapter 28

Luke

Mike jumps to his feet in alarm when Sienna flees out the front door in tears, slamming it behind her. “What’s going on?”

“Is she upset about the divorce?” Sarah is already slipping her shoes on to follow her daughter.

“No, this has nothing to do with the three of you and the fucking mess you made.” Sarcasm drips from my voice.

If Mike and Sarah had figured their shit out years ago, we wouldn’t be here. Mike and Ma never would’ve gotten back together, sure as shit wouldn’t have gotten married, and Sienna never would’ve become my stepsister. None of this would’ve fucking happened, and I wouldn’t have lost her.

Agony has an iron grip on my chest. I told her I couldn’t lose her. I’ve already lost too many people I love. But she ran out the door anyway.

“Watch it.” Ma points at me. “You made a bigger mess than any of us, and we’re all here to clean up after you.”

Sarah and Mike race out the door to follow Sienna, but they’re back in minutes with their tails between their legs. “She needs some alone time,” Sarah explains. “She’s heading back to the dorm.”

I plop onto the couch, hands clasped together between my knees. I fucked up. Sienna is the best thing that ever happened to me, and she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. And I can’t fucking blame her.

Ma perches on the couch next to me and shakes my leg. “What happened, Luke?”

“I screwed up.” What does it matter now if they all know what I did? If they know I’m not good enough for their daughter when she doesn’t want anything to do with me anyway. So I tell them about Ten and about lying to her. About making her life worse, not better, even though that’s all I ever wanted.

When I’m done, I brace for Sarah to lay into me, but she doesn’t. We fall silent until Mike says, “Give it some time. She’ll come around. If she could forgive me, she’ll forgive you. My daughter loves you.”

His words shouldn’t give me hope. Mike might be finally putting in an effort with his daughter, but that doesn’t mean he actually knows shit about what Sienna thinks or feels. He doesn’t know her like I do. Or like her mother.

I dare a glance at Sarah, who’s standing with arms crossed. She and Mike mirror each other, still in sync after all these years. Reluctantly, she nods. “He’s right. I’ve never seen my daughter in love before, but...” She trails off, not ready to admit that the little punk who broke her daughter’s heart is also the love of her life. “Don’t make it a habit of making my daughter cry.”

“He won’t.” Ma’s promise is resolute. She squeezes my leg in warning.

Except I already know I won’t get the chance. They might believe Sienna can forgive me, but I know how long it took her to forgive Mike. He’s her father, and they had a good relationship before the divorce. My entire relationship with Sienna is based on a lie.

I told her to forget about Ten, and now she knows we’re the same person. Now she’ll forget about me.

I’ll never see her again, which means I’ll never see Sarah or Mike again after today. The least I can do for Sienna now is what I should’ve done years ago.

“Sienna blamed herself for your divorce.” Her parents’ faces fall, concern lining Sarah’s and shame lining Mike’s. He already knows, but Sarah doesn’t. “For years, it ate at her. She thought she was the reason her dad left. The reason her mom couldn’t get out of bed. She didn’t have anyone taking care of her. She was the one reminding her mom to eat and go to work to keep the lights on. She was the one dealing with all your heartbreak, while you left her to deal with hers all on her own.”

Hurt colors Sarah’s eyes, but she doesn’t say anything. Neither of them can defend themselves because they know they failed her.

“That’s why she takes care of everyone else, even when it means she’s not taking care of herself. That’s why she was so afraid of loving me—because she saw how shitty it turned out for her parents. Because she didn’t want to deal with the heartbreak, and who would take care of her when she was the one crying on the couch, inconsolable? Not her parents.”

Sarah covers her mouth, tears shining. Ma’s eyes are round with horror. “Luke, enough?—”

“Let him finish.” Mike nods at me.

I shake off Ma’s grip and stand. “I’m only telling you because I know she’ll never tell you herself. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone, even if they hurt her. That’s why she blamed herself for what happened to Marcus. That’s why she never told you how much she wished her mom would take care of her. But if she doesn’t want me around, then she needs somebody else who will, and it needs to be you two.”

I’ll fight for her. I won’t give up on her, just like she didn’t give up on Ten.

But someday, I might have to accept that like Pop, like Chloe, Sienna is gone, and I’ll never get her back.

Chapter 29

Sienna

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