Page 99 of Drown in You

On the bed, Luke’s phone lights up. A silent notification. A text. He must’ve turned the sound off.

The name on the screen is?—

“Sienna? What are you doing?”

I hold his phone up. He tries to snatch it from me, but my grip is stronger than iron.

When he spots the text on the screen, he pales. His voice is so small, broken, when he murmurs, “I’m sorry, Sienna.”

“Why the hell did you keep lying to me?” My voice quakes, but not with sorrow. Rage. “I gave you a fucking chance to come clean, Luke. But you kept lying.”

He sits on the bed in front of me, and I’m not totally sure I want him this close. When he sighs, my stomach twists. Finally, I’ll get the truth. But even after wanting it all this time, I’m not sure I’m ready to hear it. “When our parents dated the first time, I knew you’d basically lost your dad. He barely ever talked to you; you never came around. I’d lost my dad. I knew how much that fucking gutted me. So I found you online. I put on a mask and told you to call me Ten because I didn’t want you to know who I was. And I...I wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t think you’d open up to me if you knew who I really was.”

My hands ball into fists, nails biting my palms. I could forgive fifteen-year-old Luke for catfishing a girl because he felt bad for her. But he’s had literal years to come clean. He could’ve come clean the day we met. But he didn’t. He could’ve come clean when I confronted him about it. But he didn’t.

He’d rather let me think Ten was ghosting me, that the friend I’d had since I was fifteen suddenly didn’t give a shit about me anymore. That I was being abandoned by one of the most important people in my life, all over again.

Luke lost a friend last summer, and he let me believe I lost one of mine. He ghosted me, even after knowing how much my father’s abandonment hurt me.

He let me kiss him, fuck him, fall in fucking love with him while he’s been harboring this secret the whole time. He had sex with me, even when he knew our parents had just gotten married. He knew who I was that night in the hotel room. He knew I was his new stepsister, and he still let me believe we were strangers. And even when I figured it all out, he refused to tell me the truth.

Everything has been a lie.

I shake my head. “The sad part is I could’ve forgiven you if you’d given me the chance.”

Pain softens his gray eyes. “I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth. I was too terrified of losing you.”

“But you were willing to let me lose Ten? Lose you?” My hands are shaking. “How am I supposed to trust you when you lie to my face? About something like this?”

Silence falls between us. He doesn’t have an answer. I head for the door.

“Sienna!” Luke’s voice sounds more broken than I’ve ever heard it. “Wait!”

I whirl on him, heart beating to the verge of explosion. “No, Luke, you’ve been lying to me. This whole time. You badgered me for keeping secrets from you about what happened to me back in Wakefield, when you’ve been lying about your fucking identity. I thought my friend was dead. Or just hated me. You know how much that hurt me?”

His own face contorts in pain. Good. He deserves it. He deserves to feel a fraction of the pain he’s caused me.

“I’m sorry.” He tries to close the space between us, but I back up. “I didn’t know how to tell you. Didn’t want you to hate me. To look at me like you are right now. Or to walk out of my life for good. After Pop and Chloe...I couldn’t bear to lose you too.”

“Then you should’ve fucking said something when we met. Hey, Sienna, I’ve been catfishing you since we were fifteen. My bad. Or when I fucking gave you the chance to tell the truth. When I told you I knew you’d been Ten all along. You could’ve come clean. You could’ve said something. But you didn’t.” I point at his phone. “If that text hadn’t exposed you, you never would’ve told me the truth. Would you?”

He can’t answer. He doesn’t need to.

I have my answer.

“I knew this would happen. I knew I should’ve stayed away from you, but I didn’t, and now look at the mess we’ve made.” I bite my lip to stop it from shaking. “There’s fucking revenge porn of us on the internet. Our parents are splitting up. You could lose your spot on the team. Your shot at the NHL. Sneaking around has done nothing but make our lives worse.”

I should’ve listened to my brain reminding me over and over to stay away from Luke. That hooking up with my stepbrother would only end badly. Now here we are.

Since the incident with Marcus, I’ve been letting other people clean up my mess for me. Send me away, protect me, fight my battles. Now it’s time I finally clean up my own mess.

Luke’s brows dip. “No, it hasn’t. Marcus posted that video. Our parents make their own decisions. And I already told you I don’t care about the team or the NHL. We’re meant to be together. You know that.”

I shake my head, retreating. “Goodbye, Luke.”

He grabs my hand. His beautiful gray eyes are crinkled around the edges, brows drawn together in a frown and lips pursed. Hurt like I’ve never seen is etched into his features. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say goodbye to me.”

How can I still love him even if I can’t trust him? When this love between us has done nothing but hurt us and everyone we care about?

---