Page 5 of Obey

I shouldn’t still want to fuck him as much as I want to fuck him up.

“You know,” Lily drawls. “It’d be easier to work if you weren’t distracting me with your dark energy.” She stops typing and looks up at me. “Why are you acting like a caged lion, anyway? Maddox get up your ass again? Oh, wait. Was it the other way around?”

I resist the urge to snap at her. Lily isn’t going to put up with me being a dick to her, though, and she’s one of the few real friends I have.

“No. Well, I did, yesterday,” I grumble, finally sitting down in the extra chair. It gives me a decent view of what she’s working on. Right now, it just looks like a map of some sort, but it’s centered on an area north of New Valence. “It’s this task the boss set me on.”

“The one where you’re doing shit that has nothing to do with security?” Lily turns her monitor slightly so I can see the map, but her attention isn’t on the computer screen. She’s fully focused on me, her eyes intent on mine.

I sigh. “Yeah, that one. I didn’t tell you the full story.”

Lily feigns a gasp, pressing her hand to her heart. “I never would’ve guessed you’d do something like keep the juicy details from me!”

“Yeah, yeah.” I run my hand over my face, stalling. I don’t want to tell Lily “the juicy details” of this mission because I know she’ll make fun of me. She thinks my whole deal with Maddox is hilarious.

She’s also one of the few people who knows my history with him, and she’s never told me that my anger wasn’t justified or that I should get over it already.

“The boss wants me to team up with somebody for this mission. It’s more than a one-person job, after all.” I stare at my fists, and I remember just how it had felt to have my hand on Maddox’s neck. I could have choked him.

He’s stupid to even let me touch him.

“Team up with somebody? As in, Maddox?” Lily raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me.

“Yeah. Maddox.” I look away from her, the annoyance and anger roiling in my stomach.

“So in other words,” she sums up, “the boss realized the two of you have… friction and decided to ‘fix’ it.”

She understands what a dick Silvano can be, even though he’s been supportive of her over the past few months while she’s started to transition. From what she’s said, she never would’ve dared under Silvano’s father.

She was the one who’d suggested I join the Cresci Crime Family. I’m sure if she’d known about my whole thing with Maddox, she wouldn’t have suggested it, but I’d never given her a name. I’d just given vague references to an old lover who fucked me over.

Lover.

We’d been lovers once. I’d probably even been in love with him, as much as any teenager could be in love. But no matter how much I’ve tried to date around and find somebody else, nobody had ever made me feel like Maddox had.

Right, because none of the others had betrayed me the way he had.

“Silvano is a fucking dick,” I mutter. “But I’m sure he actually thinks we’re the best for the job, because even if he’s a dick, he wouldn’t risk his business just to troll me.”

“No,” Lily agrees. “He wouldn’t.” She drums her well-manicured fingers on the desk, considering. “So Maddox and I do the research, and the two of you head out onto the field,” she summarizes. “Are you going to be able to handle that?” Her voice has gone gentle, the words careful.

“Why wouldn’t I be able to handle it?” I grit my teeth. “It’s fine. As long as he keeps his mouth shut and just does his job, I’ll deal. I won’t let the boss down.”

“I don’t think he’ll risk letting Silvano down again either,” she says. “Can’t imagine he felt too good about the whole ‘failing Silvano’ thing so soon after he got promoted.”

“Yeah, well, he doesn’t have a good track record of success. The boss is a fool for trusting him.”

I know I’m being petty and immature. Even if I can’t let it go, I should just keep my mouth shut and act like a professional. It’s just that every single time I see him, the wound festers, and I can’t stop myself from poking at it.

I’m not normally like this.

Lily gives me a look. “Yeah. Because Silvano is normally a fool and trusts people arbitrarily,” she says pointedly. “You need to relax, Knives. Get some of this shit out of your system.”

I let out a long sigh and pointedly unclench my fists. “I know. I know, okay? Just… Fuck.” I turn to the computer screen. “Tell me you’ve found something, at least. Anything that will make this whole fucking mission be over faster.”

She shakes her head. “I’m good at my job, but I’m not that good. I need more than a few hours to make progress, especially considering the shipment vanished across the fucking country. Maybe if it had made it closer… But no. Fucking Louisiana.”

“Is there even anything in Louisiana aside from swamps and mosquitos?” I ask, annoyed. “Am I going to have to ride one of those hover boat things to track down the shipment?”

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