Page 53 of Obey

Despite how filthy we are, Knives presses his head against mine. “In prison, it was almost easier. I thought I could forget you. But when I saw you again… all the feelings kept rushing back. All my hookups after that were sad and lonely, and half the time I couldn’t even go through with them.”

“Really?” I ask, and it’s annoying that my voice is so small and almost fucking hopeful. I shake my head. “Sorry. I… I had hookups,” I admit. “But no one stayed the night, and I didn’t stay either. They were always fleeting. I always keep people at a distance, no matter how close they try to get, because I’m always so aware of what could happen if I freeze again. I can’t fail someone else like I failed you.”

Knives laughs, and I feel his body shake against mine. “We’re a fucking pair, huh. Maybe we shoulda had this conversation when we weren’t halfway to dead.”

“Maybe that’s the only reason we’re having it now,” I say, deadpan. “That whole clarity before death thing.”

I think about my shoulder, and the probable infection, and I think about the fact that we might very well die out here of dehydration or worse.

It’s a sobering thought.

“I really don’t want to die, Nayeem,” I whisper.

“I’m usually prepared for it,” Knives admits. “Because of the job. If it’s me or Silvano, well, I guess I’m taking that bullet.” He tenses. “Not sure that’s true anymore. We’re going to have a fucking talk with him when we get back.”

“Yeah,” I say, feeling deflated—defeated, even. “It would’ve been nice to have some kind of backup, but he was pretty fucking clear that we weren’t getting any.”

Knives doesn’t speak for a while, and I wonder if he’s dozing. I cast my gaze upward, past the tree canopy to where the night sky peeks through. There are a surprising number of stars visible, but I guess that’s the one advantage of being out in the middle of nowhere with no light pollution.

“We’ll get you patched up,” Knives says softly. “And after that, I’ll tie you up so you can’t move your arm at all. I’ll fuck you slow and gentle and edge you over and over, and you won’t be able to do a fucking thing while I torture you with pleasure.”

I shiver. “Yeah? I think I’d like that.”

If we can go that long without arguing, at least.

We fall silent again, but this time, it’s a companionable silence instead of something tense and angry. I manage to drift into an uneasy half-sleep, though every time I hear something, I jolt awake.

By the time the sun rises on the horizon, I’m exhausted, thirsty, and hot.

And I don’t feel great at all, but I don’t tell Knives that.

“Let’s get moving, I guess,” I tell him, half-expecting him to lay into me and destroy the peace we’d built between us the night before.

Knives nods and opens the water bottle for me. I hesitate before taking a large gulp. The bottle is more than half empty at this point, and I feel guilty about that as I hand the bottle back.

Knives takes a swig of the water, then grimaces. “I guess if it comes down to it, we drink from the swamp. We can survive bacteria, but we can’t survive dehydration.”

The idea of drinking from the swamp makes me a little ill, but I nod. “Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that,” I tell him. We get up, somehow managing not to jar my shoulder too much, and I point inland, away from the water. “That way, I guess?”

“Sure,” Knives answers.

We walk a few faltering steps, and the terrain seems even more inhospitable today than yesterday.

“I think it’s a salt-water swamp,” Knives says with a derisive laugh. “Not drinkable even if we wanted to.”

“Well, that’s just great,” I say, my voice laden with sarcasm. “You’re not picking the destination for our next vacation, just FYI.”

“In my defense, I didn’t pick it this time,” Knives argues. “I took us to a totally normal, non-kinky club.”

“Yeah,” I say with a snort. “Completely normal. No bondage or anything.” I pause, then add more quietly, “Thanks… for the aftercare and all. You didn’t have to do that.”

Knives doesn’t say anything at first, but he does squeeze my hand. “I did. I… Fuck, I don’t want to talk about this shit in the daylight.”

I’m about to answer, but even in my slightly feverish state, I hear something over the sound of all the animals buzzing.

It’s a shotgun cocking.

We both freeze.

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