Page 60 of Obey

“Do you really want to go back?” I ask abruptly, unable to hold the question back. When he turns his incredulous look on me, I hurry to clarify, “I don’t mean staying here or anything like that, but fuck. It’s sort of nice not constantly watching my back.”

The silence between us is heavy.

“What’s the alternative?” Knives asks, half whispered. “If Silvano or Cristiano found out we just ditched everything…”

“We pretend we got killed by those guys,” I say, the plan already forming. “We rent a car with that fucker’s credit card and drive all the way to Mexico.” It’s not like the guy we’d killed will miss it.

“We illegally cross the border? How’s your Spanish?” Knives shakes his head. “We’d have no paperwork, so the kind of work we could find in Mexico is basically… well, the same shit we do here.”

I deflate. He’s right. There’s no easy path to the straight and narrow, not from here. Not without somehow getting Silvano’s blessing, and that wouldn’t even sit right with me if I got it. It’s a catch-22. “Oh well,” I say, slowly letting out a breath. “I just wonder sometimes what things would’ve been like, you know? Maybe we would’ve found a place like this, been bored out of our minds while we did… whatever it is they do here when they aren’t having potlucks and going fishing.”

“Yeah.” Knives scoffs and scratches the back of his head. “My dad wanted me to take over the family business. Because apparently, ‘shady locksmith’ is such a step up from what I’m doing now. The only real difference is that his scams didn’t make him nearly as much money as working for Silvano does.”

I laugh even though it’s not funny. “I don’t even know what I would’ve done,” I say, considering. “Something boring, probably.” I stare at him, then say quietly, “But I guess I never would’ve met you.”

And that’s not a thought I can easily bear.

Knives stretches out on the bed and lays his hand on my jaw. “What’s this really about? You love this shit. I’ve seen how you slobber after Silvano, trying to imitate his methods.”

I look at him, wondering how the fuck I went without him for so long. It makes it difficult to focus on the conversation, but after a moment, I tell him, “Sometimes I wonder if I’m cut out for this life.” I smile sardonically. “You’re right. I am a puppy chasing Silvano’s heels. Maybe I don’t really like that.”

“You’re good enough that Silvano trusts you with this crap.” Knives sighs loudly. “I mean, if anything, he’s probably just annoyed at me for being so fucking immature about everything.”

I lean into his touch. “I wasn’t exactly acting mature, either,” I say, thinking about how I’d tried to get Knives ousted from this particular mission. “He’s not stupid. He probably sent us to do this knowing we’d either get it done and work together or kill each other trying.”

“And he didn’t care which it was.” Knives drops his arm over my chest. “We can sleep on it. Let him think we’re dead for now, until we’re ready to head back.” He grimaces. “I don’t really want to tell him about our failure just yet.”

I grab Knives’s hand, linking my fingers in his. “I don’t either,” I tell him. “Good thing we don’t have phones, wallets, computers, or anything else we could use to get in touch with him.” I snort. “Valid excuses, right?”

“Sure,” Knives says. “I don’t think anyone would buy those excuses, but sure.”

He rubs my hand with his thumb, going a little harder, until he untwines his fingers so he can give my hand a proper massage.

I let out a pleased sound, leaning back in the bed. “You can do that all night,” I tell him, closing my eyes. “After all of this is over, you can give me an all-over massage, too.”

“I can do it now,” Knives agrees. “But you might want to change out of your pjs first, because you won’t want to get changed once I get started.”

“Or I can just get completely undressed now,” I say helpfully. “I think there’s some lotion in the bathroom.”

Not that I’m really thinking of massages anymore, not now that I’ve thought about being undressed for him.

Knives stills his hands and looks me in the eyes. “We’re not doing anything vigorous. Your wound still needs to heal.”

I’d pout if I thought I could pull it off, but I’m no twink. It would only look ridiculous. “It doesn’t have to be vigorous,” I tell him. “It could be gentle.” Oh, who am I trying to fool? I can’t even keep a straight face when I try to say that. I end up snickering instead.

Knives slaps my thigh lightly. “You didn’t even want gentle when you were a complete virgin.”

I grin at him. “Guilty.” I lift the hand he’s been massaging so I can kiss his knuckles. “You could still fuck me hard. Just…” Okay, I have no idea how he’d manage that without jostling my shoulder too much, but it’s been feeling better. At least any of the infection that had started to spread has halted, and I don’t feel as much like an invalid. “You aren’t going to break me.”

Not physically, anyway.

Knives groans and leans down to kiss me. At first it’s simple, our lips pressing together and his beard catching against my jaw, but I wrap my good arm around his shoulders and pull him closer. I open my mouth for him, but he doesn’t take the bait.

That’s fine. Kissing like this is nice too, especially when he places more of his weight on me, boxing me in. It’s reminiscent of bondage, and I can feel my cock stir.

“Please,” I whisper against his lips.

Knives smiles and shakes his head minutely. “I’m supposed to be the responsible one. The one who takes care of you.”

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