Page 107 of Believe it or Knot

I suppose that makes me what they accused me of, doesn’t it?

I was pinning all my hopes for my future on them.

Though not only financially.

Hadn’t I spent far too long imagining what our children would look like? How many we would have? How each of the pack members would be as fathers? How it would feel to be allowed to care for them, to love them. To be a part of a family again. I wanted so much more from them than just money and security. I didn’t want a stitch of their celebrity. I just wanted them.

But they didn’t want me.

They never will.

And that means I need to be realistic about my situation and my life going forward.

Which means going back to work.

The last thing I want to do is go to the Shack. Annie has reported similar abuse via the phones there, and I know I won’t be able to block the calls. At least she says the customers are the same as always.

One thing you can depend on is for Lake Kilrose folks to not give a shit about what’s happening outside of our little community.

But I have to make money. I have to work. I can’t just stay curled up in my bed for the foreseeable future, even if I want to.

I have no other source of income now.

Someone figured out that Sorrel Forbes is SweetSymphony, and my little channel where I post videos of me playing songs has turned into a place for trolls to come and insult me, insult my music and my playing, insult my character. Tell me I deserve to die for how I treated their beloved Cordova pack.

The number of followers I had dwindled to basically nonexistent. Any of my sponsors to my channel pulled out.

It’s so stupid that one mistake, one relationship gone wrong, one conversation overheard and misinterpreted has literally ruined my entire freaking life.

I have no other recourse but to stick things out at the Shack, to make it work. I suppose I could close it up or sell it, and try to find work elsewhere, but where the hell would I go? My face is internationally synonymous with ‘villain’ now. With ‘liar’. With ‘whore.’ No one would give me a freaking job, not even in Lake Kilrose.

Sure, they’re willing to overlook it to have access to food at the lake, but I doubt they’ll trust me ever again.

“I swear to fuck,” Sadie says, practically throwing her cellphone across the room. “I’m going to hunt down every single fucker who says anything bad about you and skin them alive. Swift will help.”

I chuckle and roll off my bed. Vee kicks out her sock covered foot at me. “Hey, where the hell do you think you’re going?”

I stretch and catch a whiff of myself, wincing. I haven’t showered since we returned home, and I can tell. Dips in the lake don’t really cut it like hot water and soap. “I need to go open the Shack.”

Sadie shakes her head. “No, you don’t.”

I pin her with a look, one brow arched. “I really do. Unlike the two of you, I don’t have a pack to take care of me.” I get the words out with nary a chin wobble. My eyes remain dry. I’m pretty sure I’ve cried out my entire lifetime's worth of tears and I’ve spent the last few days repeating the words, “I don’t have a pack,” to myself to become numb to the pain of it. It worked. Sort of. I’m at least able to hide the ache in my chest better.

“Sor,” Vee sighs, shifting until she’s kneeling on my bed that more closely resembles a nest. The effects of sharing it with two omegas who can’t control their instincts to nest for comfort. I don’t mind.

It just shows that they love me.

“You’ll find someone.”

I make a noncommittal sound in my throat and move to my closet to pull out a familiar white Snack Shack t-shirt and a pair of black high waisted jean shorts. “And in the meantime, I still have bills that need to be paid. And I need to eat.”

“We can take care of the bills for you,” Sadie says, moving closer to me as I add a clean bra and panties to my pile of clothes.

“You can’t,” I state simply, looking up and pinning my two best friends with a look. “I love you. You know I love you. And being able to wallow with you for the last few days has been perfect. Exactly what I needed.” I glance around my bedroom. “It’s made coming back here easier.”

“But,” Vee prompts and I take a deep breath.

“But,” I say, fisting my hands at my side to give me strength. “I need to get back to a normal routine, to my normal life. The longer I lie here eating crap and moping, the harder it’s going to be to move on. I have to… I have to freaking move on. The sooner I get back out there, the sooner people see the real me, that I’m not some psycho lying bitch, the sooner everyone can just forget about me.” They exchange a look and I get the impression there’s going to be some push back. “Also, I’m pretty sure if I keep either of you here any longer, your packs are going to join the crusade against me, and then I really will be alone.”

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