Page 59 of Believe it or Knot

I can feel him looking at me, but I don’t meet his eyes, instead I pull away from him and look out at the view of the lake. “For your information, I was thinking of simply shortening the hours. Annie and Jeremy can handle afternoons during the week, but I’ll need to be back for the weekend. Friday afternoon. It’s just too busy for them to manage on their own.”

He hums, still regarding me. “That sounds like a plan. It will disappoint Liam that we won’t have you for the weekend, but he’ll simply have to accept it.” His fingers skate down my arm, wanting my attention back on him, but I stare fixedly out the window. “You know we aren’t courting you with an expiration date in mind, right, Sorrel?”

I jolt at his use of the word ‘courting.’ That’s what a pack does when they find an omega they want to keep. They court the omega. Packs don’t court betas. Why would they need to? Betas are a dime a dozen, and most of us would trip over ourselves to be included in a pack in any form. If anything, I should be the one courting them. But it’s not like I can afford to.

His use of the word courting just makes our differences even more apparent.

“Just because you don’t have one in mind,” I say softly. “Doesn’t mean there isn’t one.”

I can feel his frown deepen, even though I’m not looking at him.

“Are you planning on leaving us?” He asks, and that has me looking over at him. His brows are drawn low, his jaw tight. “I mean, obviously if you decide you don’t want to be with us for whatever reason, let us know so we can go our separate ways, but are you approaching this relationship as a temporary situation?”

I sigh and fold my arms over my stomach as I turn my body to face him. “I don’t see how I can’t, Gray. I’m just not…Packs like yours don’t choose girls like me, Gray.”

A storm cloud appears in his eyes. “I didn’t realize you thought so little of us, Sorrel.”

“What!” I say louder than needed as my arms drop by my sides. “I don’t.” He pins me with a hard stare that says he clearly doesn’t believe me. “No, really. I don’t think so little of you, Gray. I think the world of you and Liam and Rafe. That’s probably why I’m in this constant state of worrying that I’m going to say or do something that is going to have you looking at me like I’m not worthy of you because… I’m not. Not really.”

He stares at me for a moment, silence reigning after the veritable buffet of word vomit I just spewed all over him. Then he sighs. “Sorrel, I say this with the utmost respect, but you don’t have a fucking clue what you’re talking about.” Before I can say anything else, he steps right into my space, one of his hands lacing into my sweaty hair, the other gripping my hip to keep me where I am.

He ducks his head and kisses me. The solid, steady pressure of his mouth against mine has all thoughts of my unworthiness fading. My hands slide up his chest until I can feel his heartbeat against my palm. The thump, thump, thump, as steady as his mouth on mine.

His tongue sweeps over the seam of my lips, and I part them on instinct, letting him in. He tastes like citrus and spice, orange and clove. Divine. I want him closer, so much fucking closer, deeper.

He must feel the same because one of his hands presses into my lower back, tugging me into his body as he lets out a hungry sound. One that has my toes curling and my head spinning, because Grayson Cordova just made that noise while kissing me, Sorrel Forbes.

It doesn’t seem possible.

He pulls back, nipping at my mouth with teeth gentle enough not to break skin, but sharp enough to sting. “Trust us when we say we want you, sweet thing,” he murmurs against my mouth. “Trust us when we say we won’t lose interest in you. You might not be the typical type we date.” I tense at that and his hand smooths up my spine to grip the back of my neck, holding me steady, keeping my eyes on his. “But that means nothing. We are choosing you.”

He kisses the spot between my brows. My heart settles at those words. So simple. We are choosing you.

“No one is forcing us to spend time with you, Sorrel,” he says against my forehead. “We are here because we choose to be. Just as you are. Correct?”

I give a jerky nod, fingers tightening on the soft fabric of his t-shirt. “Yes.”

He pulls back and smiles at me. “Good. Then spend more time with us and come to Granton. Let us take you out. Let us show you what being with us would be like.”

I hesitate. Mostly because it’s freaking scary…. Really freaking scary.

I’ve never wanted the spotlight. There’s a reason any of the videos of my songs I post online don’t show my face. I don’t want to be recognized on the street. I don’t want my image plastered across gossip sites and magazines. It’s scary enough having people critique my singing on my videos, something I’m confident about. It’s another entirely to have them critique everything else about me.

That’s what will happen if this relationship with the Cordova pack expands beyond Lake Kilrose. If they decide they want to keep me, if they bond me and claim me. I will forever be in the public eye. Forever be looked at with disdain, because I just… don’t make sense with their pack.

But what Gray says is right. If they choose me and I choose them, it’s not really anyone else’s business, is it?

Grayson is still waiting for my response, his gaze focused on me. I look up at him, smooth my fingers over the wrinkles I’ve created in his shirt. “Can Gage come?”

Gage doesn’t come.

I asked. He refused. Said he had things he needed to take care of, and I got the distinct impression that he was lying. He just… didn’t want to come to the city. With me. With us.

When I pressed, he said he’d come in a few days if I still wanted him too. And that made me frown at him. Because why wouldn’t I want him to?

I’d thought after taking the next step in our relationship that we understood we’re together. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe he was just horny and needed a willing woman to scratch and itch.

I’m not under any illusions that Gage was celibate while in the army, but maybe he’d just been alone for a while before returning home. He said it had been years, didn’t he? And I was more than willing to let him use me for a release.

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