Page 92 of Believe it or Knot

“But what if they do?”

“Then I guess I’ll just keep lying for the rest of my life! It won’t be that much different from how I normally am with everyone else.” The words explode out of her and her eyes widen in shock. She shakes her head. “But I won’t have to do that. Liam and Rafe met me on the first day of my period, Gage. I was in my holey sweatpants, with my hair a mess and no make-up on, and they saw all of that and decided they wanted to get to know me better. That I was worth the time and effort. This isn’t for them, it’s for the public, for Liam’s fans, for the world.”

“And they are always going to be there, biscuit. The public, the fans, the world. Watching the Cordova pack. Watching you. They will always be there.”

She takes a deep breath. “I know. I’m aware of that, but I think they’re worth it. I think all of this, the facade and the putting on a show, is worth it, if it means I get to have them too.”

She hesitates, then squeezes my hand, drawing my gaze back to her. “I think,” she says cautiously. “That they’re good for me. For us.”

Hurt and anger swell in my stomach and there is no stopping the scoff that falls from my lips, followed by caustic words I know I shouldn’t say. “Do you actually believe that, or is this because of who their pack is?”

Her aqua eyes narrow. “What?”

“The Cordova pack. I’m not stupid, Sor, I know you’ve had a crush on Liam since… forever.” It always pissed me the fuck off like I wasn’t enough for her, like she had to dream about some far away prince charming who would sweep her off her feet, when I was there in the dirt, her loyal knight protecting her at every turn. “Do you actually want them, or do you want the prestige of saying you’ve fucked Liam and Grayson Cordova?”

I should see it coming, but I don’t. Sorrel’s palm connects with my cheek, making my head whip to the side. By the time I’m looking back at her, she’s moved away from me, out of reach, and there are tears in her eyes. Angry tears. Hurt tears.

“That is the second time you’ve insulted me like this, Gage. Do you really think so little of me?” she asks, her voice a rasp. “Do you really think I don’t want them? That I don’t really care about them? That I only want what they can give me. That I’m here because of money? That I give a shit about any of that?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, Sorrel. You let them pay off the Stillwell pack for you. You’ve gone out on dates to fancy restaurants with them, been photographed with them, allowed them to lavish you with expensive gifts.” I really need to stop talking. I really need to shut my fucking mouth. She deserves all of that. She deserves fancy meals and expensive clothes and to be taken care of for once. I just wanted to be the one to do that for her.

She looks at me, incredulous. “You’ve been right there with me, Gage.” Her arms drift out from her body. “They’re courting both of us. They want us both to be pack.”

My jaw ticks, my hands fist. “They aren’t my pack, Sorrel.”

She blinks at me, arms falling to her sides. “Don’t do this, Gage. Please. Don’t.”

“They aren’t my pack, Sor.” I repeat, and her face crumbles. A tear slides down her cheek as she looks away from me, her hands fisted at her side.

“So what? That’s it. You give me an ultimatum and I have to pick between them and you?”

Her words hit me in the chest. It shouldn’t even be a contest. It shouldn’t be a choice. She’s mine and I’m hers. We’ve been together for fucking years, even if it wasn’t always the way I wanted. Since the first moment I saw her, I knew I would want nothing as much as I want Sorrel Forbes, but here she is acting like it’s a decision she has to make. Something she has to mull over.

If I faced the same decision, her vs a pack? There wouldn’t even be a question. She would win hands down every time. Isn’t that what happened while I was serving? I had the opportunity to find my pack, to choose the men I served with as my forever family, and I didn’t because of her.

I’ve always known she’s my pack.

Apparently, it’s not the same for her.

The only reason I can think is because of who they are. The pack everyone wants to be a part of, the one that girls manipulate and beg and steal to just get a glimpse of. And here’s Sorrel being offered the chance to be with them. They’re seeking her out, pursuing her, begging her to join them. It’s got to be a heady experience.

But she has to see it’ll fall apart.

“Biscuit,” I say softly, trying to ease her into it. “You have to know that they won’t… It’s not likely that they’ll stay. They’ll have their fun and move on.”

I’m not prepared for the pain on her face. It’s an echo of how she looked when she video called me to tell me her parents had died. It’s that amount of pain, that amount of grief. And I’m an asshole, but I think with a bit of relief, she knows. She knows it won’t last, and she knows they won’t want to keep her.

Keep us.

But then she shuts that pain away, and it’s replaced by righteous anger. Her hands fist at her sides again and I prepare for another hit. “Fuck you, Gage.”

I reel back, away from her, not prepared for her to talk to me that way. She’s never, not once, said fuck you to me in a way that wasn’t also affectionate or teasing. That… is not this. She sounds like she means it.

“You think they can’t want me because I’m so fucking low, huh? That they couldn’t possibly want a beta or the owner of a tiny restaurant? Not when they’re who they are. And I’m nothing but lake trash.”

“Sor, biscuit-”

“No!” she shouts, cutting me off. “No, you had your chance to talk, and you used that chance to make me feel small and unworthy.” She blinks and more tears fall from her eyes. Every one of them is like a knife to my gut. “I’m talking now. And I’m using my chance to tell you fuck you, Gage. I never thought, in a million years, that you would… that you would think so little of me. As much as it might be hard for you to believe, I don’t give a shit about the money, or the gifts, or the attention. In fact, I hate the attention. If you knew me at all, you would know that.”

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