Page 9 of Starlight Witch

I shrugged. “I thought of it, but I’m not certain. But I think I’ll start taking on clients again, though. I built up a tidy clientele during the time the shop was open. I’m going to send out a newsletter after Thanksgiving, opening up my business again but with the focus on tarot readings. That way I can make my own hours and I won’t be tied to a regular schedule.” I needed to have more business cards made, and I also needed to rebuild, at least a two-room shop with a bathroom. I didn’t want strangers in my house.

“That sounds like a good idea.” She paused. “I talked to Diedre the other day. I asked her if she might want to move over here with me.”

“Oh?” That was news. My aunt Diedre—technically she was my father’s half sister, and a half succubus—was agoraphobic. She lived with Grams in Stromness. While she was high functioning, she had several mental and emotional issues due to her heritage. “What did she say?”

“She said no. She misses me, but she’s not comfortable leaving home. I told her that was fine, and that I’d make a trip to visit her next summer. I thought you might want to come along.” Grams looked at me expectantly. “It would give you a chance to see where your father—and mother—lived, and you’d be able to meet other relatives who are still over there.”

“I’d love to go with you.” I had never been out of the US, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. “How is she, otherwise?”

“She’s doing fine. You know that my friend Muriel watches out for her, and she keeps me informed. Diedre is happy puttering in the gardens during the day, or she’ll sketch, or write poetry or read. She’s incredibly talented. One day I wouldn’t be surprised to find her publishing a book or selling her paintings. She lives the quiet life of what would have been considered a maiden aunt back in the day, and she’s content with it.” Grams paused, listening. Bree was stirring in the living room. “I’ll start some breakfast for Bree.”

The front door opened and closed, and I knew that Bree was checking on Oscar and Atlas. I rinsed my dishes, then leaned against the counter. “What’s on the docket today?”

“I’m going to go talk to Randy about the house. Do you want to come with me so you can see it?” Grams finished Bree’s omelet and set it on the table, along with sausage links.

“I’d love to. I want to check out this house of yours.” I pretend-pouted. “I wish you wouldn’t move.”

“You’ll be glad for it once you’re settled with Bran…and…or Faron.” She paused. “You didn’t tell me how yesterday went. I get the feeling it wasn’t what you were expecting.”

“That’s because it wasn’t,” I said, sighing.

Bree entered the kitchen. “Do I smell—ooo, is that mine?” She made a beeline for the plate.

“Yours and yours alone,” Grams said. “Now, what happened?”

I told Grams about what had happened with Faron. “He doesn’t remember anything.”

“There are magical ways to bring that information to the surface, but it might damage him given the injuries he incurred,” Grams said. “I’m sorry, but it looks like you’ll have to wait.”

Downhearted, I nodded. “I’ve resigned myself to that. Is it wrong that I’m hoping that Bran isn’t gleefully happy over this?”

“Wrong? No, but a little selfish? Yes. He’s not the one who originally wanted to be in a thruple.” Bree gave me a sheepish look. “I’m sorry, but that’s how I see it. He only agreed because you wanted this. I mean, he’s obviously okay with it, because otherwise he would have said no, but…I can see why he might feel like things are working out for the best.”

I glanced over at Grams, but she didn’t say a word. “Okay, let’s have it. How do you feel about this?”

“You know my choice for you has been Bran since the day I met him. But you have to be happy as well. Not everybody is slated for monogamy. I know a number of polyamorous couples who are happy. But make certain Bran is happy, not just tolerating, the choice. If he’s not content, that resentment will grow. If he’s just telling you what you want to hear, you need to cut him free so he can find long-term happiness.” She continued cleaning the counter.

I sat down, wondering if they were right. Was Bran okay with this only because he thought I wanted it? In my heart, I believed he meant what he said, but now, a thread of doubt crept in. “I’ll ask him to be honest. This all may be moot, if Faron never remembers us, but in case it’s not… As for Faron, I have no clue what he’ll think. I may never know.”

Bree pushed her plate back. “We’re not ganging up on you, but when hearts are involved, you have to be certain. You need to know for the long run. For everybody’s happiness.” She hesitated, then added, “I’ve never met someone I wanted to marry, or even settle down with. But if I do, I want to ensure their happiness as much as I can.”

What they said made sense, and I knew all this, though I hadn’t wanted to face it. “I know I sound indecisive. The world pairs off, but when I look back at Rian, I think that we wouldn’t have been happy. Not in the long run.”

“That’s possible, my dear,” Grams said. She suddenly stopped, then said, “You don’t blame yourself for his death anymore, do you?”

I slowly turned to face her, a storm of emotions churning in my heart. “Not exactly, but what if he was taken away because I didn’t recognize that we weren’t meant for each other? What if fate decided that we weren’t meant to be together and I missed all the signs, so…”

“No,” Grams said. “Life doesn’t work like that. The gods don’t punish people because they don’t see everything coming. Sometimes, life just happens. Sometimes, life sends you crap because you’re the closest target. Contrary to what the toxic positivity movement claims, the universe isn’t clockwork, and just because we want something doesn’t mean we’re going to get it. Conversely, we don’t necessarily cause trauma to happen if we aren’t cheerful all the time.”

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right. For the most part, I’ve moved on from his death. But sometimes, I still feel that maybe if I hadn’t been tipsy, I would have felt there was danger nearby…or if I would have listened to myself more, I would have suggested we take a taxi home.”

“It’s easier to blame ourselves than to accept that sometimes there’s no control. That for some events, we have no say over what happens.” Grams sat down beside me. “You didn’t cause his death, you didn’t miss any signs. Neither did Rian. The two of you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.” She paused. “Not to change the subject, but the Butcher’s still out there, you know. And while May helped you disconnect from him, I think it would be a good idea to beef up your wards on a regular basis.”

“I wish I’d done that, given the mess with Evan,” Bree said. She finished her breakfast. “All right, I’m ready for the day. I’ll gather the dogs and head out. I have an appointment at eleven to talk about a winter camping trip in the Quinault forest.”

“Make sure they’re seasoned hikers,” I said. “You don’t want a repeat of that stupid bunch of idiots who tried to sue you last month.”

“They backed off the moment my lawyer confronted them. I’m going to take this group on a day hike first, a short one. It will give me a good idea of their capabilities. And if they can’t handle it, we won’t be planning the winter trip.” She glanced at her phone. “Okay, I need to run.”

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