Page 32 of Chasing his Ex

There’s a visibly deep sigh from his mouth.

“Come back to me when you’ve grown up and your child is as important to you as you claim. Until then, hook up with whomever you please. But please, please, don’t ask me to see her again. I don’t want to see the broken look on her face again.”

“Sorry.” He looks exhausted, broken, and devastated.

“At least you let her down early,” I say, opening the door. “But don’t think of seeing her again until you aren’t going to let her down again. If a date is more important to you than your daughter, then knock yourself out, but don't do it on Emmy’s time.”

I slam the door behind me and storm down the corridor, thumping the button on the elevator panel. The car seems to take forever to turn up, but finally, the elevator arrives, and my roaring heart needs to get outside and calm down. Because right now, all I want to do is storm back to his office and scream ... why didn’t I scream at him?

I clench my hands in and out of fists and glance up at the ceiling, trying to stop my tears because I’m so angry. Trusting him with my little girl, and he’d destroyed her so fucking quickly. It’s moments like these when I wish for one more day with my mom. I need to pick up the phone and ask for her advice.

The doors to the elevator open, and I storm inside, hitting the button for the ground floor and kicking the wall as I wait for the door to close so I can scream.

But as the doors start to shut, the panels shutter, and someone quickly jumps into the car behind me.

“I’m sorry.” His voice is a whisper. “I wasn’t on a date.”

I hold my palm up to his face. I’m bothered that you let Emmy down. You could have met your date after seeing her. Or organized with me or Stella that you had other plans. But...” I shake my head and sigh. “She was waiting on the bottom stair, staring at the door for hours.”

“Fuck. I didn’t mean to.” The elevator stops at the ground floor, and I get out. He follows. “I was upset, and Nell wanted to take me for a drink.”

“Upset?”

“Have a coffee with me, please. Let me explain.”

That’s when I notice the look.

It’s a look I know too well. My father has worn it since my mother got sick and every day since she died, never letting go of the look. It’s like a scratchy shirt that he can’t or doesn’t want to remove. My father’s heart has never recovered. The way Finn looks, it doesn’t look as though he will either.

I nod, and we walk in the direction of the coffee shop. After waiting for the server to take our order and leave, I turn to Finn and ask, “Who is sick?”

“Mom,” he whispers.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

He puts his head in his hand, and I lean over the table and place a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it.

“It’s cancer. Her prognosis has changed; they think she has twelve months left. My father is in bits.”

“I imagine he is. You too.”

“I need mom to meet her,” he says, looking at me. His eyes plead before I hear the words. “I know I messed up, but I want her to meet Emmy.”

Finn and I won’t make it as a couple, but he wants to be a dad, and I have to be a good mother now that I know his reasons. I nod. “Of course you can take her. But we need some rules.”

“Really? After what you said?” His voice is a whisper.

“For God’s sake, Finn, your mom is sick, but you still shouldn’t have left Emmy waiting like that. She’s only three. She doesn’t understand.”

I hold my palm over the back of his hand and face him. “But you have to keep checking in with me. Tell me how she is and if Emmy wants to come home. You have to bring her back.”

“Come with me. Mom isn’t in London, she’s at home.” His eyes meet mine. “Please?”

I shake my head as I rub my thumbs over his cheeks. It wouldn’t be a good idea.

“Emmy won’t settle without you.” His voice is a whisper of hurt and anguish, and I’m wondering if this is a good decision, but it’s probably the best thing all round for everyone concerned, and as long as Finn’s mom is happy and Emmy is safe, nothing else matters.

“Okay.”

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