Page 40 of Chasing his Ex

“I think some people in life end up with each other because it happened. They met, they were happy and lived a happy life. But us, Ava, we’re different.”

“Different...”

He nods. “I didn’t just see how beautiful you were. I wasn’t looking at you like other men were. I saw something inside, someone who seemed like the life and soul of the party, but I only saw how vulnerable you were, someone who smiled at others but who was desperately lonely.”

Jameson had called me cold and detached.

“I know you’re all those things, because it’s how I felt. Until you came along, I was the same as you. You gave me something else in my life, something I ended up yearning for, desperate for. And maybe the feelings I had for you became too much for you.”

I drop my head and shake it. “You were never too much for me. You were all I wanted.”

He takes a step and then another, and before I know it, he’s gathered me in his arms. He kisses my temple, ears, my neck, and my lips as he holds me closer, and I cherish the feeling of love he’s giving me. But I also know Finn too well now, knowing it will be the last time. Because I can only deal with so much heartache, and if I’m going to be honest with him—that would entail heartache.

Finn holds me closer, his large hands caressing my back. He knows too. He knows this is the last time we’ll be so close.

We have to end.

He’s about to end us for good.

“I love you, Ava. I want to spend my life with you. I want to bring Emmy up with you.”

“Oh,” I whisper, not expecting his words.

“We can’t,” I whisper.

Deep down Finn hates me, and I understand the romance books talked about the thin line between love and hate, but there was nothing more heartbreaking than to hear the one who used to tell you, you were their world, their everything, always theirs. To suddenly being the one they hated, and with real venom behind the curse.

And loving Finn was the most wonderful experience, but became the most painful. And his pleas are another way into my heart but would turn into hurt all over again.

He presses his fingers into my biceps, urging me to look at him. “Look me in the eye and tell me you can’t love me again,” he says. “If you can, I promise to leave you alone.”

My knees and my resolve buckle. I reach deep inside for an ounce of strength. I know any woman would be lucky to have this man standing in front of her, wanting her, but...

“I never stopped loving you. Loving you is easy, being hated by you...”

“Shh,” he whispers in my ear, kissing my wet face as his hand slides down my back. My nipples harden against his hard chest and his erection twitches against my stomach. “I don’t hate you. God, Ava, I love you, always have... and always will.”

“I don’t know Finn. You're right. I am keeping something from you.” I pause as I consider trying again or knowing this will never work. “And once I tell you, you might not feel the same.”

His eyes narrow and I swallow. I should have thought this day would come, the day I had to tell him it wasn’t only me that hurt him.

“I told you I tried to contact you through your father.”

He nods.

“I was successful.” I stare at him for a moment as I think of my words. “But he refused to believe you were the father, called me names I don’t want to repeat." I take a deep breath. "I was fuming, told him I would give him a DNA test, and I needed to speak to you.”

“My father refused?” he whispers.

"I was given an ultimatum." I sigh. “Your father gave me fifty thousand pounds and he told me to get rid of it or use the money to disappear and never bother you again.” My mouth quivers as I look at him. “I’m sorry, but I took the money. He told me if I bothered you again, he would prove I was an unworthy mother and have the child removed from my care."

Tears lace my eyes as I stare at his shocked face.

"I'm sorry. I was scared. He's a powerful lawyer. I couldn't take the risk."

Finn gasps. “He knew all along." His eyes narrow as he thinks. "And that’s how he knew to ask me about you, once he heard Jameson mention it at the event. The bastard always knew.”

I blink the tears back as I let him take it all in. "he did."

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