Page 46 of Adoring Delaney

Iwas taking a minute to gather my thoughts. Seeing Delaney’s pain gutted me. Hearing her tell me she’d been trying to let me go, erase me from her life hurt like a motherfucker. She’d said she didn’t love me anymore and that had been a lie. But this….

I deserved no less. Her anguish mirrored mine and in a moment of extreme sadness I wondered if I was doing the right thing pushing her to stay with me after all I’d done to her. To us.

But then I remembered.

All the good times we’d had. All the times she laughed and smiled. All the love I had for her and I knew she had for me. It was more than history. More than the girl I fell in love with. More than our childhoods being twined together. More than me being her first lover and her my last.

I remembered with great clarity I was the man who was put on this earth to love her. She was no longer the teenager who confessed her undying love. And I was no longer the stupid boy who feared if I made a commitment and couldn’t keep it, I’d crush her. Everyone had been right—with or without my ring on her finger, it wouldn’t have cushioned the blow of losing me.

Sometime over the years she’d grown up. I had not. Until recently I was still that cowardly little boy pushing away the woman I loved because I was scared. Not for me, for her. I’d treated her like she was fragile instead of like the strong woman she was.

I’d fucked up so monumentally it was a wonder I could breathe under the rubble.

It was with that knowledge, knowing down to my soul we were destined to be together, that I made a decision.

We were laying everything on the table. Right then, in our bed, I was going to bleed for her. Complete honesty. And I was going to have to tear her open and rip out all the bad shit she was keeping bottled up.

She was going to fight me, it was a battle she would lose but I knew it was going to hurt her while I was mining the poison from her belly and grief from her heart.

On an exhale I braced and asked, “Tell me about the baby.”

Just as I’d thought, every muscle in Laney’s body coiled tight and she tried to move. My hand that was pinning hers over my heart pressed harder and my grip on her hip was relentless. She wasn’t going to pull away. Not now.

“Carter,” she snapped.

“Tell me. I want to know everything.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because you need to get it all out and talk about it and I want to know.”

“What if I don’t want to talk about it?”

She still hadn’t relaxed and if anything, I was afraid I was getting ready to get kneed in the balls as she made her escape. Which would be a damn shame, because I fully intended to plant babies in her as soon as I could. And not having functioning testicles might make that difficult.

“Then how about this—I want to know. And straight up, I don’t mean to hurt you, but the baby was ours, not just yours. We both lost something. I’m not trying to upset you but I have a right to know.”

“I know what we lost.”

“Then you’ll understand my need to know. Everything, Laney. How you found out. Why you thought you were pregnant in the first place. Every detail.”

The silence stretched a good long while before she tried to shift again and I refused her efforts.

“No pulling away. You’ll tell me, while you’re in my arms.”

“Stop bossing me—”

“Talk, Laney.”

The stubborn woman remained stiff and lapsed back into mute protest. I had nothing but time and had no issue waiting her out. I knew Delaney well enough to know, she couldn’t hold her tongue for long. She’d either tell me to fuck off and try to get out of bed or she’d break down and tell me. Either way, she’d talk.

“It wasn’t long after you left, I started to feel funny,” she whispered after thirty minutes of quiet anger. “I thought I was getting the flu but by the end of the day after I ate, I was feeling better. A few days later other stuff started to ache and I—”

“What stuff?” I interrupted.

“Does it matter? Can’t I just get through this without you interrupting me?”

“I want every detail, Laney baby. I want to know everything you felt.”

---