Page 59 of Adoring Delaney

“Maybe. But thinking on it, I think God would’ve given us a boy first. Not just so he’d grow up to protect his little sisters but a boy to love his momma the way only a son can. Then you’d give me girls and they’d look at me the way you look at your dad. One day we’re gonna have that, Laney. I promise you.”

There he was making me more promises. Only this time I didn’t protest and fight against the trail of happiness as the vow washed through me.

I embraced it.

I believed it.

One day we’d have it all.

I looked up at Carter, his arm still around me and his eyes mirrored mine. He believed it, too. I wish in that moment, I would’ve known what life really had in store for us. I would’ve spent more time memorizing his face. I would’ve told him then and there how much I loved him. I wouldn’t have waited.

But life’s a funny thing, even when you think you’ve learned the fragility of life, you still don’t listen.

19

Last night was tough.

Leaving Delaney this morning to go to work, tougher.

She was still emotionally raw. After her parents’ tearful goodbye, I cleaned up, and got us into bed. It had taken her a long time to finally find sleep, which meant we were up half the night talking. Just like old times, chatting about nothing important, but last night there was a new closeness.

Again, it was the best of both worlds. Familiarity and newness.

I’d done my searches on Natalie’s license plate and came up with a whole lotta nothing. The car was registered to a man, Patrick Duffy, the address on the title was in Pensacola, Florida. But he had once lived in Chicago when he attended art school there. Not knowing Natalie’s last name made it impossible for me to look into her, but I knew she wasn’t married to Patrick. Maybe he was a friend or boyfriend and she was borrowing his car.

So she was a dead end. There was also the possibility I was overreacting and the woman was who she said she was. A harmless woman who was new to the area and desperate to make friends. But something was still nagging.

The area we lived in wasn’t so small you ran into the same people daily, but it also wasn’t a thriving metropolis where you never saw the same person twice.

I had a hard time believing in coincidences but Delaney was right, I saw danger everywhere. That’s what I’d been trained to do. It’s what had kept me alive. I also knew how to control my reactions to it but Delaney didn’t. And scaring her so badly it kept her from the things she wanted to do wasn’t right. So I decided to keep my thoughts about Natalie to myself and watch. Perhaps the woman wouldn’t call at all and I was worried for nothing.

By the time four o’clock rolled around I was ready to leave. Laney had called earlier in the day and told me she’d packed a bag. That way when she picked me up from work we’d be ready to drive up to Virginia. I didn’t need anything, I still had some clothes and miscellaneous shit in my old apartment, part of the reason I needed to go back up there.

Jasper had given me a few meaningful glances throughout the day, but otherwise hadn’t brought up last night’s conversation. Which I was grateful for, Laney wasn’t the only one raw from our conversation. The weight of telling her parents sat like a rock in my gut and knowing that mine were next turned the rock into a boulder. My mom was going to be upset, and like I told Laney last night, there was a certain way a son loved his mother. That love ran deep and true and I’d always gone to great lengths to shield her from hurt. As had my brother. Watching her grieve the loss of her grandchild was going to torture me.

I’d made my feelings known about telling the rest of the family, but Delaney had confirmed she’d felt the same way. As much as I wanted to, the decision would be hers and I’d respect it even if I disagreed. The baby was ours, but she bore the brunt of the loss. I hadn’t been the one carrying our child, I’d never understand the pain she carries. My only job was to love her through her pain.

Now we were six hours into our eight-hour drive and Delaney had woken up from the nap she’d thankfully taken. Her snooze meant I’d regained control over the radio, however now that she was awake, she was back to channel surfing.

“Pick a station,” I grumbled.

“There’s nothing good on.”

“Woman, there are about five hundred channels on satellite radio and about that on the regular stations. If that’s not enough for you, take my phone and pull up a playlist and Bluetooth it.”

Apparently the thousand channels weren’t enough because she grabbed my phone.

“What’s your unlock code?” she asked.

“Same as it’s always been.”

“That’s great, Carter, but I still don’t know it.”

“No shit?”

How could that be? The code to my phone had never changed. Not since the very first one my parents had gotten for me when I went into middle school and started playing sports.

“No shit. I don’t know it.”

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