“You to live like this. I tried not to think about your other life. The one you had when you weren’t with me. But when I did, I hoped it wasn’t better than what you had with me. It wasn’t better than the home we shared. Now, seeing it, I hate it. I shouldn’t’ve have wanted that. I should’ve wanted more for you, but I didn’t. I wanted what I could give you to be better so you’d want to come home. God, I’m a bitch. How could I have ever wanted this for you?”
“This place was nothing more than a crash pad. I never made it a home because I had one. And there’s nothing selfish about you wanting your man to come home to you. I counted the days until I could and every time I had to leave it was a knife to the gut.”
“I still should’ve wanted you to have better.”
“I have better. I have a home. With you. This apartment wasn’t why I was lonely. I would’ve been alone and empty in a fully furnished mansion. My loneliness had everything to do with not being with you, not my living arrangements.”
I appreciated his effort but it did nothing to assuage my guilt.
“How ‘bout we talk more about this after Logan leaves?”
Ohmygod.
I’d been so lost in my thoughts I’d forgotten Logan was in the room.
“Shit,” I muttered.
“Don’t mind me,” Logan said.
“Shit,” I repeated, shoving my face into Carter’s chest trying to find a way to totally disappear.
“Seriously, Delaney,” Logan said. “I have three sisters. The youngest are a set of twins. And when they get going, the rest of the world is lost to them.”
“You do?” I pulled away from Carter and looked over at Logan. Who much to my surprise had moved as far across the room as he could. However, considering the whole apartment was smaller than my living room he hadn’t gone all that far. “So do I. My sister Quinn is two years younger than me and Addy and Hadley, the twins, are four years younger.”
A smile hit his face but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Mine are much younger than me. Ten and twelve years. After my dad left, it took a while for my mom to start dating again.”
Carter’s hold tightened and I wasn’t sure what he was trying to convey but I couldn’t miss the wince in Logan’s features and decided it was best to change the topic.
“Well, sorry about the dramatic outburst, probably not what you wanted to hear first thing in the morning and I’m certainly embarrassed, but it’s nice to meet you all the same.”
“If you call that dramatic, Carter’s a lucky man. I’ve seen my sisters throw drama, and what just happened was nowhere near their extreme. And, sis, this ain’t first thing in the morning. This is mid-day for those of us who still get up at dawn. Your boy here, is getting soft. He used to be the first up.”
“Seriously? He likes to sleep in.”
“Maybe when you’re sleepin’ next to him. But otherwise, no. He’s a pain in the ass, always up first and he’s never quiet about it. If he’s up and ready to workout he thinks everyone should be up.”
That was an interesting piece of information I never knew. At home, and when we were kids, Carter was normally a late sleeper. Though when we were younger and the occasion had arisen where I’d witnessed him getting out of bed, it was usually when the families had all gone on vacation together. And those times Carter was up first, but it was only because he’d have to sneak back to the room he was supposed to be sleeping in after spending the night in my room. Not that anything more than talking had occurred, and Quinn was always in the room pretending to be asleep though I knew she was mostly faking it and listening to us. But she’d never ratted us out, so if she wanted to listen to innocent chitchat, what did I care?
“You’re full of shit.” Carter returned Logan’s smile. “I do not wake everyone up.”
“He does,” Logan joked. “Anyway, I came over to tell you we don’t need to move the furniture. I’m taking over the apartment.”
“And you couldn’t’ve just called?”
“What fun would that’ve been? And besides, now that I’m here you can’t turn down breakfast.”
Carter looked back to me and asked, “Wanna go to breakfast with this idiot or stay here?”
“I could eat, but I have to shower first,” I answered, and Logan groaned.
“We’ll make it lunch,” he complained.
“I don’t take that long,” I protested.
“Right. I’ll be back in a half hour. Will that give you enough time?”
“I only need twenty,” I lied.