Page 75 of Queen of Sherwood

“It changed all of us, Robert.”

He huffed and nodded. “Sure as hell did.”

He paused his grim tale, the thudding hooves of our horses filling our ears. Animals in the trees made little sounds in the late afternoon.

“I killed him, John. It wasn’t a Saracen’s blade that took Oliver’s life. It was me, when no one was watching. My rage blinded me.”

I blinked, and my whole body went rigid. Robert’s tone was flat as he said it. When I looked over, he still stared ahead, lost in the past.

“I killed my childhood friend. Not because of what he did to that Saracen woman, even. But because of what he did to me. Then I took his name, since he had tarnished mine, and deserted the military to come back here, tail between my legs.”

His tone became gruff and angry, and my hand instinctively moved toward the quarterstaff on the other side of me.

Then he glanced over at me with imploring eyes. “You see? I’m the villain of this story, Little John. We don’t advertise ourselves as such, else we’d never make any progress.”

More quiet.

Then I let out a loud scoff. “Don’t be a fucking fool, Robert of Loxley. And if you try to liken yourself to Sir Guy, Sheriff George, or even this man Oliver again, I’ll knock you off that damned horse.”

He lurched in his seat, baffled. “I—”

“You saw a man you trusted doing a horrid thing. Your conscience won out. Any good man’s would’ve. Then you saw an opportunity to exact revenge on the man who destroyed your life. You took it. Any valiant man would’ve. And that’s all that happened.

“You are certainly Robin’s brother, because you pity yourself just like she did when I first met her. But she grew. You must, too. What you’ve done to atone for your supposed sins, meanwhile, has improved the lives of every Oak Boy under your charge. Don’t squander that opportunity, and don’t you dare fucking pity yourself for extinguishing evil from this world. You understand me?”

My monologue came out harsher, louder, and more forcefully than I would’ve hoped, but I couldn’t stop it one the words began. The rage was instant—the frustration and annoyance.

Robert found himself nodding dumbly, incessantly. Flustered, he seemed to revert back to his soldiering days as he stammered, “A-Aye, I understand, sir.”

My eyes fixed on him, towering over him on my horse. Robert was a tall, handsome man. He still wasn’t nearly my size.

“Good men must do awful things at times, Robert,” I said, calmer this time. “Robin taught me that. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good man. And it doesn’t compare to what Bishop Sutton has allegedly been doing. That is pure greed and evil. Your situation was one of self-preservation.”

Robert nodded again. I watched his throat bob as he took a gulp. He said no more, staring ahead, though he looked smaller than he had a few minutes before.

I felt guilty for lashing out at the lad, but it needed to be done. I had to remember, for as much poise as he carried himself with, he was not many years older than Robin. In my eyes, he was still a young lad.

“You’ll be fine, Robert,” I muttered, softer. “But I will warn you one other thing.”

“What’s that?’

“If you abandon Robin again, she might never forgive you this time. Think on that before you decide on leaving our conjoined bands and retreating to your nomadic ways, hmm?”

Robert bit his lip.

A shadow caught my peripheral and my head whipped to the center of the road, leaving Robert with his mouth half-open.

My hand dragged my staff out in front of me, my teeth clamping shut. I stilled my horse with a yank of the rein.

A man stood twenty paces in front of us on the road. Dressed in threadbare garb, a kerchief wrapped around his head to help from the sun. I could practically smell him from here.

Clearly a bandit.

“Who goes there, man?” I called out.

Robert had his bow in his hands, arrow nocked. I appreciated that, since my staff wouldn’t be much use from this distance, and I’d seen “Oliver of Mickley” hit a goddamn hair off a witch’s tit during the archery tournament.

He was even better than Robin with a bow. Or at least he had been that day.

---