Page 47 of Beneath the Indigo Sky

I’m falling over the edge of a cliff, but he’s holding me tightly, and I’m safe, and I’m loved, and he is ecstasy. He is everything I didn’t know I ever wanted.

Jayce

Namid is lying in my arms. We’ve shifted, and he’s curled up against my side with his arm across my chest. My hand covers his tightly, and my head is turned so that my lips can rest in his hair, the scent of grapefruit shampoo and salt-covered skin and sex filling my senses. I didn’t know it could feel like this. Nothing has ever felt like this. If I shift my gaze, I can see the dark patterns on his skin. They are calmer now, bright glistening points of starlight swirling through indigo and black. I don’t know what it means, or what it is, or even who he is, but I don’t care. Nothing matters except the way I feel in his arms. He is perfect, and he is mine.

I let my fingertips travel across the skin of his back, learning his curves and planes and harsh lines by touch. He’s lean and muscular in a way that contrasts my bulk perfectly. The room has cooled around us, and his skin is so warm, and I’m so comfortable and so complete here in his arms. It feels as if we were meant to be like this, like we were made for one another.

“You know.”

He shifts closer as I begin to speak.

“The last time I took the time to look at the sky, I mean to really look, before that night on your porch was when I was seventeen.”

His hand tightens in mine, encouraging me to continue.

“It was only late April, but somehow, that night was warm enough to lie outside the way Jordyn and I did sometimes. There were so many stars, and even though it was late spring, the Aurora swirled in front of them and the glow lit up the world and held the darkness at bay. The sky wasn’t black that night; it was indigo. It was the color of your eyes.”

Namid shifts in my arms, moving to prop his head up in his hand, his elbow on the bed beside my chest. His eyes are soft and open and they hold the entirety of the universe as he watches me. He is my universe.

“Jordyn was out with his first serious girlfriend, and I was alone. I was happy for him, truly happy. He was so excited, and I wanted that for him. I wanted him to find love and happiness. He knew I was gay. So did my parents. I’d sat them all down and told them when I was fifteen. I knew I might lose them, a lot of people do, but they smiled and hugged me and told me they’d always love me. They told me later that they knew it would be harder for me here. Harder than it would be for Jordyn, harder for me to find someone, but I only half understood at the time. When I lie there that night, alone beneath the indigo sky, I knew that I’d always be alone.”

Namid’s eyes are still watching me; they’re tracing the lines of my face, and the softest smile rests on his lips because he knows that I’m not alone now. He’s found me.

“There are legends you know, about the Aurora. The Cree believe that it’s the spirits of loved ones trying to communicate with those here on Earth. Some Labrador Iniutfeel the same. They say it’s the spirits lighting torches so that those who pass on can find their way home. They say that the whistling noises that sometimes accompany the Aurora are the voices of the spirits trying to communicate with the people of the earth.”

Namid pulls his hand from under mine, and his fingertips trace along my jaw as I talk.

“That night, I asked the stars to bring me someone to love.”

My eyes burn as he leans in and brushes his lips across mine, and when he finally pulls back, I lose my battle, and the tears slip down my temples.

His voice is a gentle whisper against my skin.

“Maybe that’s why I have no memories. Maybe Ken was right. Maybe I fell the night I was found.”

“Do you believe that?”

His brows furrow as he thinks for a moment before he responds.

“I don’t know.”

His lips brush my cheek, and he’s smiling now.

“But I like it. I like the idea that I was meant to find you.”

Chapter 14

Namid

The past six weeks have been surreal.

As far as anyone else is concerned, nothing has changed. Jayce is still who he’s always been - one of the town’s golden boys. A man who quietly lives his life, keeps to himself, and helps the community. I’m still who I’ve always been - a vaguely acceptable outcast who Jayce has recently taken pity on by employing me a couple of days a month. Jayce and I still meet at the shop every other Saturday for an hour or so while I work through his books, and every Saturday, we wander outside with our coffees when the weather is nice, but with winter starting to shorten the days and bring down the temperatures, we’ve spent more days inside than out.

In reality, the whole world has changed. Jayce and I are inseparable. On the days it’s too stormy to walk through the park with our coffees, we no longer eat brunch at the shop. Instead, the one of us whose turn it is to buy picks up pastries and drives to the other’s house. We make coffee at home and curl up on the sofa together, licking stray sugar from one another’s lips.

I still have dinner with Ken a few nights a week, but now, Jayce joins us. He’s fit with us from the moment he came to help us clear out the old cabinets, and these days, the three of us feel like a family. We cook together, laughing and talking about how our days went, sharing movies we love, and debating about the appropriateness of pineapple or mushrooms belonging on pizza. Jayce and Ken talk about football while I sit quietly and listen to their words and soak up the warmth of their emotions. I had no idea life could feel this way. Jayce still misses Jordyn, and Ken still misses his wife, Katherine. There are moments when the darkness of grief swims to the surface, and they have to fight to push it back, but it’s mostly a soft, quiet thing that lives in the background of their souls. They are both lighter than I’ve ever known them to be.

Jayce and I spend most nights curled up in each other’s arms, and on the rare occasion we sleep in our own separate houses, I miss him. I miss his smile and his eyes and his strong body pressed against mine. I know he misses me too. When he sees me for the first time after we’ve spent the night apart, I’m in his arms before I even realize he’s closed the distance between us. His palms run the length of my spine while he grins and kisses me like he’s just opened a gift on Christmas morning.

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