Page 56 of Beneath the Indigo Sky

“It was wonderful. Even though it was a couple of decades ago, I imagine the city wasn’t that much different than it is now. In fact, the first time I saw it from the freeway, I remember thinking almost exactly the same thing Namid described. It really is magical the way the entire city seems to almost co-exist with nature in a way.”

“Maybe we could all go back sometime? I mean, Jayce usually goes every summer…maybe next year we could all go together…as a family.” I know my voice is quiet and tentative as I ask, but I don’t want to push Ken or make Jayce feel like I’m trying to somehow replace his memories of his trips with Jordyn.

Loss and love flood the room as Jayce reaches over to take my hand.

“I’d really like that.” His voice cracks as he forces out the words, but he means it.

I’m so lost in his gentle, jade eyes and the tender, hopeful smile that tugs at his lips that I’m almost startled when Ken’s hand comes to rest on top of our intertwined fingers.

“I would too.”

A long, heavy moment passes as we each take comfort in the life we’ve built together before Ken pulls his hand away and snorts out a laugh.

“I definitely think we should fly. It sounds like Namid may not survive another road trip, and I’m too old for roadside motel beds.”

My eyes roll automatically. “You’re not old, Ken.”

“Well, I’m not young, that’s for sure.”

“Sixty-seven is not old.”

Jayce snickers. “I don’t know, Ken. I mean, if you were old, wouldn’t you be retired?”

“Who’s going to take over here if I retire now? This one?” He gestures to me with a mocking frown, clearly trying to fight the smile that threatens to burst free. “You think he’d be any good at facilitating funerals with that smitten kitten smile on his face he’s always wearing these days?”

I nearly choke to death as water makes its way up my nose and tries to drown me when I snort out a laugh while taking a drink. Any witty retorts from either myself or Jayce are lost as I try to cough and laugh simultaneously, which only leads to more snorting. The three of us collapse into laughter for long enough that our sides ache by the time we manage to catch our breath.

While I’ve dreamed of it nearly every day since Ken found me, not once in my life have I truly believed I would manage to find this sort of happiness.

Chapter 18

Namid

Jayce and I don’t go out of our way to announce our relationship; there is no one we want to tell. It turns out that, unsurprisingly, two weeks after we return, everyone knows anyway. Early on a Sunday afternoon, Jayce is dusting a kiss across my cheek, and his hand is resting on my arm as we finish our conversation when a customer walks in to drop off their keys. The rush of shock and disgust that floods the reception area is nearly strong enough to knock me over. While the man doesn’t say anything to either of us, by the time we head to the grocery store to collect our afternoon pastries, I can feel a change in nearly everyone we encounter.

There are nights during the weeks that follow when Jayce comes home upset or frustrated. On a few occasions, I’ve pushed him to talk about it, hoping that the knowledge he’s not in this alone might help. I think it does in a way, but he’s still hurt and surprised by how quickly the people he’s known all his life have changed the way they treat him. I don’t think anyone has been actively aggressive or insulting. If they have, he hasn’t told me. All he’ll say is that business is a bit slower than it normally is, and a few folks have been a bit more abrupt with him than usual. I know there’s more to it than that, but I don’t press him. I know all too well how it feels to be treated differently, and I wish I wasn’t the reason people have become less accepting of him. I wish I could take away his pain, but I know that’s not really how life works. All I can do is love him and remind him that he’s not alone. I’ll be by his side for as long as he’ll have me, and I’ll do everything I can to make sure he knows just how loved he is.

For me, things are a bit more…intense. I try not to let Jayce know how bad it’s gotten. People who were already wary of me before now go out of their way to avoid being in my presence for longer than absolutely necessary, and people who have always felt mildly curious are now almost openly inquisitive. There is also a handful of folks whose fear or hatred seems to overwhelm them when I pass by on the street or in the shops. It reminds me of the way the town felt when I first arrived. While I’ve never been sincerely accepted by many, at least most of the emotion directed my way had become more subdued over the years. I hadn’t realized how subtle it had grown until it shifted after the town found out about me and Jayce. It’s anything but subtle these days, and while it’s not exactly a wonderful way to live, I try not to let it bother me. I’m not ashamed of who I am, of who we are together. I have Jayce by my side, and having him is enough. He’ll always be enough.

“I’m sorry, hun. I ran into a bit of trouble, and I have another half hour before I finish up here.” Jayce’s lips brush my cheek briefly as I lean over the engine he’s working on.

I’ve just finished sorting the shop’s accounts for the week, even though it’s a Thursday night. At this point, as long as there aren’t a lot of people coming to pick up or drop off, there’s no reason for me not to be at the shop whenever I have the time, and I’ve taken to spending at least a few hours a week here just to keep Jayce company.

“It’s a nice night. Why don’t I head over and get the few things we need for dinner? That should take about forty-five if I walk.”

“You sure you don’t want to take the truck? It’s freezing outside!” We came in together a couple of hours ago for Jayce to finish up the alternator job he’s still working on.

“Nope. It’s a clear night, and it’s not really that cold. Besides, it’s only four blocks. Pretty sure with all the…exercise…I get these days I can manage to walk a few blocks with a bag or two of groceries.” I shoot him a leering glance as I pat his shoulder and turn to head out.

“I’ll be finished by the time you’re back,” he promises as I shoot him a wink while I walk backward through the glass door into the reception area.

It really is a beautiful winter evening. The sky is clear, and the snow piles left by the plow glow with an almost pale jade-green light as the colors from the Aurora and nearly full moon bounce across their surfaces. It reminds me of Jayce’s eyes. The quick walk to the grocery store is calm and refreshing, and I savor the way the cold air burns my lungs and stings the tips of my ears. It’s a shame that the peace that falls over me during the walk is tainted the moment I step through the shop’s sliding doors and feel the way the other shoppers shift from passive, distracted emotions to intense and almost painful ones when they notice my presence. I keep my head down as I grab the few items on our list as quickly as possible, and don’t bother looking up when I pass anyone in the aisles. I know all too well that none of them are happy I’m here without having to see their smirks and glares and frowns.

The gentle amusement that approaches me as I slip apples into a bag is unexpected enough that I glance up, surprised to find Shelly bagging lemons nearby with an almost playful grin on her face.

“Guess I won’t be seeing you at the bar anymore, huh?”

I can’t help the way my lips twitch into something close to a smile. “You know I’m not exactly social as it is. I’m there, what, three times a year max? You’ll probably still see me a couple of times a year; I’ll just only be after a good drink when I come in.”

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