Page 57 of Beneath the Indigo Sky

Her face softens, and something that feels almost wistful drifts from her.

“I’m happy for you guys. Truly. If you ever need anything at all, you let me know, okay?”

I’m stunned enough that it takes me a few breaths to come up with any response at all, and when I finally do, I find myself struggling to keep my voice from cracking. I guess I haven’t realized just how isolating it suddenly feels to have everyone hate me again.

“Ya. We will.”

Her smile softens even more as she nods once and turns.

“Shelly.”

She glances back without hesitation, and I press my hand to my chest.

“Thank you.”

Joy. She’s happy. She’s genuinely happy for me, for us.

“Anytime, Namid.”

I’m still distracted by my interaction with Shelly as I grab the last few items and check out. I still feel the way those around me stare and wonder and secretly wish I’d just go away, but I’m able to keep their emotions from affecting me. I think I may actually have found a friend.

While it’s uncomfortable, I’m getting used to feeling unease and suspicion and hatred from folks in town again. It’s a low thrum that never completely disappears unless I’m physically too far away to feel the angry red and black emotions directed my way. Fighting to keep them at bay has become automatic for me anytime I’m in public. Maybe that’s why I don’t notice until it’s too late. Until they’re already on top of me.

I’m only a few steps away from the edge of the parking lot, two bags of groceries in one hand as I head back to the shop. I’m lost in my own head, trying to decide what Jayce and I should have for dinner and replaying my unexpected encounter with Shelly when I hear my name.

The man I’ve never seen before is close, far too close. He’s spitting my name like it’s a curse as he steps closer still. He’s filled with rage and hatred and disgust. I’ve never felt anything like it before, and it turns my stomach as my knees threaten to buckle. I don’t know how he managed to get so close to me feeling like this. How did I not notice?

I tear my gaze from his snarl as a second man, one I’ve seen in town on a handful of occasions but never actually met, steps out of an old pickup a few feet away. It’s not in a parking space. It’s stopped at an awkward angle, only half in the parking lot in front of me. The rear tires are resting on the sidewalk, and it’s clear they’ve stopped there deliberately to block my path. The second man feels exactly like the first, an endless wall of anger and loathing.

I turn back the way I came. If I can make it back to the store, maybe I’ll be okay. If I can even make it to one of the streetlamps that cast light on small sections of the nearly empty parking lot, maybe someone will see. Maybe someone will help. I’ve never been in a fight before, and I know that I won’t be able to stop whatever these two men have planned for me unless I can get away before anything physical starts.

A hand curls into the back of my shirt before I can take a second step.

“Knew you were trouble the minute you showed up.” The low voice drips so thickly with animosity that I can barely make out the words as I struggle tothink rather than succumb to panic and crumple to the ground.

“Knew you were just biding your time. I always thought that you were trying to take advantage of Ken somehow, but I never thought that you’d manage to get your hooks into someone like Jayce.”

A hand clamps onto my shoulder.

Another grabs my wrist, twisting my arm and pressing me down to my knees on the asphalt. The hand on my wrist twists until a loud snap fills the nearly soundless night.

I can feel everything. Every nerve in my body is on fire, but it’s burning in the distance. I’m far away. Detached. I’m no longer made up of the cells that are caught in the flames. I’m merely an observer.

The pavement is clawing its way across my skin where the back of my shredded shirt no longer exists to protect it. The pain in my ribs and arm is sharp and throbbing, and I imagine if I were still connected to my body enough to move, I might feel the shift of broken bones under my skin. The rage and hatred that swirl through the air around me no longer sink into my soul, and the grunts and curses and the scrape of leather on blacktop and the sound of skin connecting with skin start to fade.

The stars are so beautiful overhead. Their light shimmers so brilliant and bright across the universe that they seem to hold back the darkness, and the sky appears deep blue rather than black. Jayce says that blue is the color of my eyes…

Jayce

I can’t stop the small smile that takes up residence on my face as Namid brushes his lips across mine. I can’t stop the way I stare at him as he shrugs on his coat to head out to pick up groceries for dinner. I don’t even want to try. These days, I often find myself doing things I’ve never done before. I find myself watching the way Namid moves, so elegant and fluid no matter what we’re doing. I find that the small smile that never seems to leave my face isn’t something I can control, not that I’d want to. I find myself excited at the end of each day to go home and spend time with my family before falling asleep in Namid’s arms. I’m still adjusting to the fact that I get to love Namid and that he loves me in return. In truth, I hope I never get too used to the feeling. I don’t want it to ever become expected or mundane. The way we love one another isn’t something I ever thought I’d get to experience, and I hope it always feels this precious.

We haven’t talked about the future much, not about the specifics anyway. I know that Namid is my future, and he’s made it clear that I’m his as well. Since returning from our trip, there hasn’t been a night when either of us has insinuated they want to be alone for the evening. I can’t imagine living apart from Namid, even for a night. I know he loves his small cabin, and I’m not overly attached to my house; maybe he’ll let me live with him. It would be tight, but we’d make do. Maybe we’ll keep moving between my house and his. I want to be with him; it doesn’t matter where we are. He is my home.

I shake my head with a small laugh, pulling my attention back to the car in front of me. Namid will roll his eyes and tease me if I’m not finished by the time he’s back, so I need to focus on what I’m doing. It’s so easy to get lost in my thoughts these days. I suppose it’s always been that way, really, but now I find myself enjoying the moments my mind drifts in on itself instead of forcing my attention instantly back to the present the way I’ve had to in the past when my mind held nothing but pain. When my thoughts drift now, they’re always about Namid.

Black.

The patterns that stretch across Namid's skin have swirled with color and sparkled with starlight, captivating me from the moment I first saw them.

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