Page 93 of Obsession

“I…” I start, then pause, intrigued to find that he’s listening intently. As if he cares. As if it matters what I want.

Could it?

I look down, lacing our fingers together. “I will never have a normal life,” I tell him quietly. “I will never have friends like I could’ve before. I will never go to a discount store and pick out things for my dorm room. I’ll never be a vet or own a home. I’ll never be… a person.”

“I have power; I can do those things for you,” he argues. “I would find a way.”

I don’t doubt it. He could change my face or the way others perceive me. Maybe he could erase the world’s memory.

But.

“And you would leave me alone?”

Aris blinks. “I…”

“That’s what it would take to have a normal life. Normal means normal, as in, no chaos gods lurking around.”

He swallows, throat bobbing, and he squeezes my fingers. “If you wanted that, then…”

“Yes?”

“Then I would leave you be. If that was what you wanted.”

I watch him closely, unable to find a lie in his expression. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

Aris nods, eyes tight and creased with pain. He looks like a man on the wrong side of the barrel of a gun—braced and terrified, waiting for his end. “Yes.”

Letting out a breath, I lean back. “That’s good to know.”

He blinks. “What?”

“I think you really have changed. Well, you’re still you, but you’re… different. You never would’ve said that before—said it and meant it, I mean.”

His fingers flex and loosen, his hold on me uncertain. “Mary?”

Aris’ face is so wounded and confused that I take pity on him, smiling. “I don’t want those things anymore.”

“What,” he begins hesitantly, then pauses. “What do you want?”

I sigh and take a moment. Once I say the words, they’ll be out there, and my feelings will be real. Part of that scares me, the risk that I’m making a horrible mistake. This is everything I’ve ever wanted, served steaming on a silver platter. I’d be an idiot not to take it and run.

But if I ran from Aris, I would always be running. I would never feel right.

“I think I’ve actually lost my mind, because I want to be with you.” My voice is unsteady; I really am dumbfounded, and sort of frustrated with myself. “And not to watch you or to play some part, but just to be with you.”

Aris lets out a long breath, then gives me a harsh look. Still, his hold is tender, gentle. “You were messing with me just now. That was a mean joke.”

I shrug. “I needed to see what you’d say, and now I know: you actually care about me. As a person. You respect me, and value me, and I don’t think you’d ever willingly hurt me. So I’ll go with you.”

Without preamble, he pulls me flush against him, my nose flattened against his shirt. This close, it’s obvious how deeply he’s breathing, betraying his relief. “Never do that again,” he says firmly, but without malice.

I manage to get my arms around him, holding Aris with just as much desperation. “Never again,” I say, squeezing tightly.

One good thing about being with a god, is you never have to worry about being gentle. My grip doesn’t hurt Aris; he just laughs, and it successfully distracts me, my shame giving way to wonder.

If I could, I’d bottle the sound. It’s so… airy and simple.

Happy.

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