Page 45 of Beau & Autumn

I lean over, grabbing my phone off the nightstand. I do not expect to see a text from Beau first thing, but that’s exactly what’s waiting for me. Scrambling to open it, I fumble, my cell clattering to the floor. It’s almost out of battery and I have no charger. Damn it!

He’s probably texting me to tell me that he’s thought about it overnight and he’s clinically insane. Retracting the offer would be the sane thing to do.

Beauster

Morning, Autumn Leaf. I trust you slept okay. I didn’t want you to wake up and think I was trying to convince you of anything last night. That wasn’t my intention, but it probably came off a little crazy.

I blink a couple of times, disappointment flooding through me before I read the next text.

Beauster

I’ve been thinking about it a lot overnight and I think you need to know that I meant what I said. We could do this. It solves a problem for both of us. But if you don’t, I won’t hold it against you ??

He gave me a winky face?

He sent me a text saying he still wants to go ahead with this hair-brained scheme and then inserts a winky face?

Just as I’m about to form my reply, my phone dies and switches itself off. Damn it! Now he’s going to know I read the messages and didn’t reply.

I groan.

Then I think about how freaking hot Beau looked last night and his ass in those jeans. The way his hair was slightly gelled back but the front kept dipping in his eyes. I close my eyes, imagining the hard wall of muscle of his chest when I leaned back against him and yes, I’m a hundred percent sure that I brushed up against his package.

You wouldn’t even have to sleep with me.

Like that option is even on the cards. Disappointment makes my stomach churn. Oh, I’ve thought about rolling around with Beau in bed ever since that day he ripped his shirt off. He should not have this effect on me, yet I can’t help it. The more I try to fight it, the stronger the feelings seem to get. I get flustered whenever he’s around now; my cheeks heating like a teenager and my body throbbing under his glare.

The way his voice dropped. The way his eyes heated. Was I imagining that, too?

Who knows, I was a little drunk, but this is just like Beau; jumping to the rescue.

No matter what he says, I can’t let him do that. Marriage is supposed to be a sacred union, not one built on a lie. And it would be a lie because I’m having feelings for him and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I can’t marry him knowing that I have real feelings toward him without us exploring them first, but then I’ll only scare him off and he might take my rejection to heart. I don’t want to hurt him, but I also don’t want my heart broken either. How did we get here?

This is what happens when you fall for your best friend. This is why men and women can rarely be friends, right? Because feelings get in the way. And then if Beau doesn’t feel the same way, it would look pathetic, desperate even.

I still have my pride.

I need to roll out of bed and find a charger around Georgia’s place so I can reply back to Beau saying he’s off the hook.

Even if I don’t mean it; he needs to know that this is no small thing. In his eyes, we’ll just get an annulment and that will be that. But what about my smashed heart when that event occurs? How long would we live through this charade? Three months? Six months? A year? And where would we live? My place, or his?

I shake my head.

I don’t know what’s worse; Beau’s offer, or me considering it.

I don’t want to do this just for the money. It stopped being about that the minute I thought Beau may have true feelings for me.

Jesus, I need coffee, and I need it fast.

No matter what happens, I won’t let Beau be hurt. He’s a good man and an amazing friend, and I want to keep it that way. I never want to be the reason that he regrets anything.

So that’s why I’ll tell him thank you, but we can’t. It’s too much.

When all’s said and done, he has his life to live, and I have mine.

Meeting in the middle was never planned. For both our sakes this is a very bad idea.

Wife. You’d be my wife.

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