Page 75 of Lost Love Found

“Right. Yeah.” I play with a loose thread on my quilt and Maeve says something else I don’t hear.

“Bon? Did you hear me?” Crap. Is that a trick question?

“Ummm no, I’m sorry.” Might as well be honest.

“When you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen, alright?” I know she means well. I know she wants to be there for me, but I don’t even know how to process everything that’s happened yet.

“I know, Maevey. I love you.” One hot tear falls down my cheek. Just thinking about my friends makes me teary.

We hang up and I go back to bed.

31

are you letting her go?

adam

I'm slumped against the couch with my forehead resting on my palms. I don't even stir when Raf enters the room. He's bundled up in a hoodie, his hair sticking up at odd angles. "Hey, man. Is there any coff—“

Suddenly taking in the look on my face, his voice trails off, and his eyes widen with concern. "What's going on? Is Lainey sleeping? Are you alright?"

“Those are all questions I honestly can’t answer right now.” I go back to holding my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes. I haven’t slept. I haven’t even gone back to my room.

“Where’s Elaina?”

A question I can answer.

“She left.” Raf takes a seat in a chair across from me and lets out a loud breath.

“Oh, fuck. What happened?” He’s leaning in close, and I can hear the concern in his voice.

“I told her.” I look up at him and he winces. I’m not sure if it’s because I look like shit or because of what I just said. “I told her I love her. I told her that’s never gonna change. She’s it for me, Raf. She’s everything.”

“What did she say before she ran?” He’s nodding. He called it. He knew she’d run.

“That it’s not my fault. She let it go too far. That she can’t do this.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “She said I needed to let her go, and I don’t think she meant just leaving the apartment.” I get up and pace around the room. Repeating what she said to me makes me jittery. After what had happened just a couple of hours before, it’s not right. Nothing is right.

“And what are you gonna do? Are you letting her go?” My head snaps up. Is he fucking serious right now?

“I’m never letting her go, Raf. I told you. She’s it. I’m not giving up.” I keep pacing, but I see him slowly get up from his chair.

“Good. OK. Let’s get some breakfast.”

* * *

Raf tries to distract me. He really does. We work out, watch old episodes of The Office, and this morning he’s making me breakfast again. But I can’t think about anything except her. What she’s doing. How she’s doing. Whether she’s sleeping or if she was staring up at the ceiling all night like me.

I’ve texted her the words I love you multiple times. I know telling her isn’t enough, but I need her to know that I mean it. It wasn’t just a spur-of-the-moment thing, though I can see how she might think that.

Raf turns around with a spatula in one hand and his phone in the other. “She’s in Marblehead!” He shows me his phone screen as proof.

“Yeah. She just told me too.” Now, what do I do with that information? Do I go there? She said she needs time and I want to give that to her, but I also need to show her I’m not letting her go. I’m not walking away just because she’s scared.

“You can’t go.” Raf puts the phone down. “Not yet.” He turns around and plates the eggs he just finished making, wiping his hand on his apron. Just like he did yesterday, he sprinkles something green on them with a flick of his wrist and smiles down at the plates.

“We need a plan first. Sit. Eat.” He puts the plates on the table and gestures for me to join him. “How much longer are you shooting? We’re heading back to LA tomorrow, right?”

I sit, feeling a little confused by the repeat performance of Raf the chef I just witnessed and a lot thankful for this guy who has seen me through pretty much every high and low in life and still wants to sit at the kitchen table and plan how I’m going to get my girl back.

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