Page 104 of See You Maybe

“You’re in trouble now.” Declan heard the young Russian say casually through the buzzing in his ears. The Russian flexed his hand and then wiped a bloody palm against the brick. He cast an eye over Declan. “I haven’t seen you before?” His perceptive eyes studied Declan. “You aren’t a soldier.” He cocked his head. “Are you a Riordan?”

Declan shook his head. “I was doing my brother a favor.”

“Me too… sort of…” He snorted, and then stuck out a blood-stained hand.

“Alexei Kovalyov.”

“Declan Bloom.”

An hour later, Declan sat in a windowless room listening to one of his uncles give him instructions while a woman stitched the wound on his side. The overall message was simple: Never speak of what happened. Albanians believe in blood feud, and if they found out his involvement, they would kill everyone connected to Declan.

His uncle explained in a disgusted voice that Seamus had taken responsibility for Declan’s kill shot. Seamus was only saved from retribution by the fact the Albanian struck first. That, along with a hefty bag of cash, would keep the head of the Koci family happy. It was also helpful that, like Seamus, Dituri Koci was operating without family permission.

Seamus would survive.

As his uncle spoke, it occurred to Declan that he should feel some sort of remorse about killing the man, or for the others who had died in the pub. He didn’t.

The only thought ricocheting through his brain was: he’d truly lost her now. A vicious reminder that his life wasn’t the same as hers. The thought that a connection to him would bring her unhappiness was enough to make him ill. How long before his father’s cutting remarks, or the sharks that he dealt with, turned her love to resentment? She deserved so much more than what a life with him would be.

His uncle continued to catalog all the things Declan needed to do and not do to safeguard himself, but his heart only heard one thing.

She’s gone.

“Holy shit!” Chris’s exclamation yanked Declan from his thoughts. His eyes were wide. “Are you saying you kil?—”

“They erased my presence.” Declan’s lips twisted, aware he had just done what his uncle had drilled into him was the most important thing he not do. “Seamus might have done it for me, but Uncle Iain knew it meant that I owed him.” Declan slumped, staring morosely at his drink. “Even with the money my father paid, I’ll never be free of them now.”

He exhaled a sharp breath and tipped his head back to rest on the top of the sofa. “I almost had it all,” he whispered. “A fucking dream right at my fingertips.”

“Huh?”

Declan raised his head, surprised that it felt ten times heavier than it normally did. The room swam in front of him. “Hubris. I’m Declan Bloom. I can have anything.” A laugh broke from him that sounded suspiciously like a sob. He roughly cleared his throat, eyes stinging. “Leaving her in that airport is easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done. God, the look on her face. We’d agreed… She has dreams… By the time I was halfway back to Dublin, I’d convinced myself that it could work. I’d tell her who I really was. We would make it work. There is no way that the universe would deliver a love like that, only to wrench it away.” His voice cracked.

Declan lifted his glass, almost missing his lips, and finished the drink. “I’ll never be free of this legacy… my father’s, my mother’s, and now my own. Because while the Albanians have made peace with the McGraths, if they were ever to find out the truth...”

“Who are you talking about?”

Declan blinked at Chris, his lids suddenly too heavy to hold open. “Rose. My beautiful, perfect Rose.”

The next day when he woke on Chris’s sofa, he found his friend watching him from the stool in the kitchen. Declan sat up with a groan, his stomach and head objecting to the upright position.

“Coffee?” Chris sipped from his mug. Declan swallowed past the nausea and shook his head.

He didn’t think he’d ever drank as much as he had the night before. Declan scrubbed his hands over his face.

“Thanks for letting me stay last night. I better get home and get cleaned up.”

Declan pulled his boots on and headed for the door. He never lost control like that, and beneath the alcohol still roiling in his belly was the sense of foreboding. He shouldn’t have told Chris about Rose.

“No problem. It sounded like you needed a friend.” Declan’s hand was on the doorknob when Chris spoke again. “I’m glad you told me about Rose. I’d started to think you were incapable of falling in love.”

Declan managed a tight smile before shutting the door behind him. Fuck!

Making a call from the car, Declan had enough time for a quick shower before the doorman called to notify him that his guest had arrived.

Two hours later, he was on his way to the Bloom Communications headquarters, ready to return to life. On his chest, under a protective plastic bandage, was the white rose he’d just had inked above his heart.

Declan might not be able to have Rose in his life, but he would carry her with him forever.

---