Page 62 of Beautiful Life

He smiles at me. “I’m ready. You’re ready, whether you think you are or not. We’ve got a dog and our dog is gonna need some kids.”

“Well, maybe. Eventually.”

Tony’s smile becomes a grin. “Not maybe. And not eventually. Soon.”

“Soon?”

“Soon.”

“How soon?”

“Pretty soon, gem.”

I feel my body go limp under his. Honestly. He’s thinking of kids already? How can he be so sure about everything? Me? Us? Especially me? I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m still semi-screwed up.

“Sweetheart.” He gives me a little squeeze. “Get dressed. We’ll walk Fin before we get ready to go to the airport. We’ve got a long day and he’ll be pinned up a while. A tired dog is a good dog. He needs a walk.”

He starts moving to get up, but I grab his arms to halt his process. “Tony, we need to talk about this.”

He comes down to the bed by my side this time, framing my face with his hands and he whispers with meaning, “For me, gem, don’t go on the pill yet. Hold off for now. You forget how patient I am. I’ve got all the time in the world for you. Don’t think about it and don’t stress it. Let’s keep things the way they are for now, okay?”

Just like all things Tony, he wears me down and honestly, if he’s going to tell me not to think about something, I’m not going to think about it. That’s for sure.

“Okay,” I whisper.

He smiles down at me. “Good. Get dressed, I’ll go get Fin and make coffee. We’ll make breakfast when we get back.”

With that, he leans in to kiss me one more time and he’s off to get Finny and make coffee. But I can’t move. I’m still in shock from everything. I lay here thinking about babies for Tony, kids for Finny and not in the far future, but the near enough future Tony doesn’t want me to go on the pill.

Holy shit. I’m in serious trouble.

*****

I tear the check out of my checkbook and hand it over to the manager of the treatment center we just checked my sister into. It’s late Sunday and the end of yet another eventful week.

My days at work have changed to Wednesday, Thursday and Friday’s every week, unless I want to add overtime. After work on Friday, Tony and I went to get Finny and brought him to Tony’s house. He’s rambunctious, cute, and absolutely, one hundred percent perfect. We spent all day Saturday hanging out at Tony’s house playing with him.

It took Mac most of the week to track down Tina, but they found her in Panama Beach. Mac told Tony she was running in circles that were downright scary. From what they could tell she really did owe her dealer a large amount of money, but there was no way we could really know if she was telling the truth about exactly how much she owed. Because of the information Mac supplied local law enforcement in Florida, her dealer is at least temporarily out of commission and behind bars.

Dealing with Tina was another story altogether. My mom wanted me to send her money, which I refused to do. When I talked to Tina on the phone Friday, she broke down and said she needed help. She’s done this before but there’s no way I can deny her help if I have the resources to help her when she’s asking for it. She also begged to come home, so I decided to make that happen, too. I mean, what else am I going to do with all that money I got from my divorce?

The police followed up on Tony’s report about Preston keeping tabs on me while under the restraining order. Unfortunately, there was no way they can prove he’s doing what he’s doing, whatever that might be. They left issuing him a warning and reminding him of all the conditions of the restraining order. A trial date is yet to be set and Tony informed me this week it looks like Preston’s attorneys are offering a plea bargain with the DA’s office for a lesser charge so he will escape jail time. Tony isn’t happy and I have to say the whole thing makes me a bit nervous, but what can I do? As usual, I’ve decided not to think about it. I have enough to think about right now.

Today is Sunday and if I wasn’t freaking out enough about Tina flying back to Omaha to check into a treatment center, I would be freaking out about Tony wanting me to be his in a permanent and real way, sooner rather than eventually. And if I wasn’t freaked out enough about all that, I’d be freaked out about Tony not wanting me on birth control so we can make babies for him and kids for Finny. All of this and my mom is still staying at my apartment I have yet to sleep in for one measly night.

Basically, I have plenty to freak out about right now.

Tina walked out of the airport with the drug counselor, who I also paid to fly here with her so she won’t have to be by herself. I almost didn’t recognize my own sister. Tina is two years older than me, but now she looks many years past her age. Her blond hair is thin and stringy, her skin grey and drab. Her clothes are old and worn, hanging on her body, and her hazel eyes are sunken with deep circles surrounding them.

The minute she sees me, her face screws up and she starts crying. She comes straight into my arms where I hold her tight. Once I calm her down, Tony and I load her up and take her straight to the treatment center. Along with all the toiletries and bags of new clothes I bought for her before she got here. I had a feeling she wouldn’t have much of anything and I was right.

I contacted a drug treatment center in Panama Beach and she checked herself in there for a few days until we could get her here. The treatment center I chose here is the best in the area, but also the most expensive. I can afford it and this is her chance to turn her life around, I’m just praying she’ll make the best of it.

“She’s still detoxing and will be for at least the next few days. We say no visitors for the first week. We’ll see how she’s doing and let you know when you can see her. I know you paid upfront for the treatment, but I have to remind you, this is a voluntary treatment plan. We can’t make her stay. We will encourage her but won’t force her. She can walk away anytime she chooses,” the manager explains.

“I know. We read the paperwork and were told when I called to reserve her spot last week.” I put my checkbook back into my purse as I feel Tony come up to my side. “I can call and check on her, right?”

“Absolutely. We want you to. This is a precious gift you’re giving your sister, I hope she’ll take advantage of it,” the manager encourages.

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