Page 89 of Beautiful Life

“Maybe you misunderstood. Let me see it,” she demands.

“No.”

“No, you didn’t misunderstand or no I can’t see it?” Her voice is hard, giving away her frustration.

“No to both.”

“Why not?” she demands, well on her way to being pissed.

“Because it’s killing me to tell you any of this and I don’t want you to have that visual in your head.” I do my best to even my voice before telling her the rest. “Leigh, there were pictures.”

“Pictures of what?” She’s all the way to pissed now.

“Pictures of you. Some of you and me together. All from Sunday. Someone was following you outside your apartment when you were alone and us walking Fin.”

I see her body almost jerk with surprise and she reaches out to hold onto the dresser. She takes a moment, processes it and all of a sudden, her face turns hard. “Wait. When did you get this threat?”

I answer immediately. “Yesterday.”

Her voice rises. “Yes, you said that already. When yesterday?”

I narrow my eyes, not wanting to tell her but do it anyway. “Yesterday morning.”

Pulling herself up to full height she bites out my name. “Before or after you insisted we get married, Tony?”

After a beat, I feel my jaw go hard. “Before.”

I see her take in what seems like the biggest breath she’s ever taken. She’s pissed I kept this from her, which I knew she would be. She’s probably feeling controlled, managed, and everything horrific she’s felt the last four years before she was with me. I’ve never wanted to make her feel that way, but I’m not sorry I’ve kept it from her, and won’t apologize for keeping her safe.

“Gem.”

She immediately looks down and to the side avoiding me.

“Look at me, Leigh,” I demand.

She finally turns her hard face—full of anger—while trying to hide her hurt.

Standing across the room, still in our original positions, I try to convey my message. “This should be no surprise to you. I told you I would support you in whatever you want, whatever you need, unless I was worried about your safety. Well, I’m worried about your safety. We came together with checkered pasts. Four months ago, I was shot, so it goes without saying, when I came home from running at seven in the morning and find a threat on my doorstep with photos of the woman I love—the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, the woman I plan on making babies with—that’s going to set me off. I will always do what I think is necessary to keep you safe, I don’t care how pissed you get. When I read a note yesterday that only contained a few words but was big enough—massive enough to threaten to take away everything I want in this world, all I could do was see you in my head. I saw you bruised, battered, swollen, and broken in every way. I could feel you shaking in my arms from the nightmares you couldn’t escape. I saw the shell of yourself you became after being at the hands of that man. And to learn someone was following you—watching you? That you were exposed to some sick fuck who wants to hurt you when you’re by yourself? That someone could mark your body and soul again, causing you pain? The thought of you experiencing any pain makes me crazy. The only reason I’m telling you now is because when I stand before you and God to make you mine, I want nothing between us.”

Looking more exasperated than anything, she exhales and shakes her head. “You should have told me yesterday.”

“Maybe so. But when I walked in to tell you yesterday, you looked happy, healthy, sitting in my kitchen, wearing my shirt while talking to your dog, and I decided I couldn’t wait another day to have you forever. You can’t deny it, Leigh. I would have married you eventually but after coming home to that threat on my doorstep, I couldn’t make that happen fast enough. If I could have married you yesterday, I would have.”

“But getting married isn’t the way to deal with this. This isn’t something to rush into.”

“I disagree. I won’t apologize for how I handled it. This is me. This is who I am and what you can expect from me as a husband. I think I’ve proven I will not control you or your life. You know I love you. In an hour I hope you’ll let me prove to you how much I love you and want to keep you safe forever. It’s up to you, but it’s time to decide what you want. I’ll be waiting for you.” I watch her war with her own head.

Not wanting to, but doing it anyway, I turn to move out of the doorway, leaving her to make her choice.

I can’t blame her for being pissed and I can’t make her marry me today. I can only hope she sees where I’m coming from. I lean against the counter and wait.

I wait.

And I wait.

I’m sure my head is causing time to stand still, but I swear it’s been forever. I drop my head thinking this is it. It was too much and she either doesn’t trust me or she’s not ready.

The clicking of spiked heels on wood floors make me jerk my head up and I see her moving out of the bedroom with guarded and carefully blank emerald eyes. I watch her walk, loving the way she moves, and pray today is the day I get to watch her move toward me like that for the rest of my life. As she brings her graceful body to me—almost eye to eye in her heels—she puts a hand flat against my chest and looks at me a beat. Finally, she leans in slowly to put her lips on mine.

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