Page 104 of Illicit

Teagan takes a step backward into my chest.

Sammie’s eyes bug out of her head when her stare drops to my hand wrapped around Teagan’s hip.

Teagan whispers, “I can explain?—”

“No fucking way,” Sammie bites.

“Quiet,” I hiss, but don’t let go of Teagan. This is not what I need. I had Teagan right where I wanted her and now this.

But Sammie is Sammie and doesn’t shut the fuck up or lower her voice for that matter. Instead, she stares straight at me. “You’re fucking my sister? We grew up together!”

That’s it. Teagan steps out of my hold and grabs her sister by the wrist. “Would you shut up? You’re going to wake Mom and Dad.”

Sammie can’t stop glaring at us. “Well, I’m pretty sure they’re going to want to know about this.”

“Don’t you dare,” Teagan warns in a menacing whisper. “We know what we’re doing. We have a plan … sort of. We just need some time to?—”

Sammie gasps again.

“What?!” Teagan hisses.

Sammie looks down.

Water drips down her legs.

“Oh my gosh!” Teagan isn’t whispering or hissing any longer. “Your water broke!”

Sammie looks up at Teagan and forgets all about me. A horrified expression takes over her face. “It’s coming. Holy shit, Teag. The baby is coming. I’m not ready.”

Teagan looks her sister in the eyes. “You are ready. You can do this. You’re going to be the best mom.” Teagan turns to me. “Get dressed.”

She doesn’t have to tell me twice. I sidestep around the baby juice on the floor and go straight to my room.

I don’t even get the door shut when I hear Teagan yell, “Mom, Dad! The baby is coming!”

And there go my plans for the night.

24

EMOTIONAL DIATRIBE

Rocco

Tim paces.

He’s been pacing for hours.

Annette and Teagan have been in the birthing suite with Sammie since we got here. Sammie kicked her dad out when they went through the whole vaginal statistical exam, and he never returned.

Smart man.

Since then, Teagan has come out periodically to give us updates. This has included more vagina stats as well as generic Sammie stats. Based on both, I’m glad I’m here and not in there.

But for real, when the baby is here and the dramatics are over, society needs to come together and agree that when it comes to some information, too much is not okay.

That includes vaginas that you are not up close and personal with on a regular basis.

Bagels have already been ruined for me for life. We need to agree to stop.

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