Page 148 of Illicit

Because she’s Teagan Coleman.

But also, because I’m Rocco Monroe.

Someone like her isn’t supposed to be with anyone like me.

The last week and a half have dragged on like a never-ending purgatory.

I was investigated and cleared for the shooting of Rodney Monroe. It was procedure, but it still pissed me off. I was ready to move on.

Teagan and I made a last-minute trip back to Mississippi and she got to meet Heath Hayes in person. He’s getting stronger and healthier every day, and he came to tears when he wrapped his arms around the woman who put the plans in motion to bring him home.

And between it all, we’ve had enough silent sex to last a lifetime. At least we didn’t have to sneak around. After what happened with my father, there was no separating us. No one questioned it. Not Tim, especially not Annette, and certainly not Sammie. She’s in her own world. Nothing has ever suited her more than being a mom, even though she’s a single one. She’s surrounded by family, and that’s all they need.

And Teagan made it clear after that dark day. She only needed me.

I drag my hand down her body and do what we’ve been doing more and more of every day.

Playing Russian roulette with my sperm.

I slide into her bare.

Until today, it’s been a silent conversation.

I’d hike a brow.

She’d bite her lip and nod.

And when her body formed to mine, we’d savor it. Every time, just a little longer.

Another moment.

One more thrust.

Her eyes fall shut, and she tips her head back. This is like the others, but with words. “This is risky, but I love it. I shouldn’t love it this much, but I do.”

She opens her eyes when I slide out and in one more time.

Not hard.

Not unbridled.

When I put on a condom, it’s all of that.

But when we’re like this, it’s different.

We’re focused on each other. I’m in full control. She gets to enjoy.

And learn.

I’m here for that.

This is the first time we’ve talked aloud about our little game that gets pushed farther and farther every time.

I want this.

Hell, I want everything with her, and it can’t happen soon enough. But her being okay with playing around bare and being ready for all the things that I am is very different.

I closed on the house this morning and the movers delivered what little I own in this world. It took fifteen minutes for me to carry all of Teagan’s stuff from her car. She has a hell of a lot less than me.

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