Page 38 of Illicit

He was pissed, but I knew he’d come.

Maybe that’s why I let them talk me into coming to New Orleans to do something so stupid.

And, quite honestly, dangerous.

I knew Rocco was close if I needed him.

I pull the big T-shirt over my head and roll the boxer shorts over twice so they stay up on me.

“I know you’re done. You can’t hide in there forever.”

I look at myself in the foggy mirror. The moment we got back to Rocco’s apartment after the silent car ride from the police station, he shoved clean clothes into my hands and ordered me to take a shower to wash away the filth.

I’ve never been so happy to follow someone’s orders.

Rocco might’ve saved my ass tonight, but he’s not patient. I owe him an explanation after he saved me.

When I open the door to the bathroom and flip off the light, the apartment is dim. A single lamp in the corner doesn’t come close to flooding the space. Rocco stops his pacing in the middle of the room and crosses his arms. “What the hell were you thinking?”

I mirror his stance and cross my arms as I stand swallowed whole in his clothes. “I didn’t set out to get arrested tonight. I’m not happy how the night ended either.”

He cuts the distance between us in half. “The best thing that happened to you was getting arrested. It probably saved you from a worse fate. This is New Orleans, Teag, not your sleepy little college town. I don’t need to spell this shit out for you, because I know you’re not naïve, so don’t act like it. It’s not a good look on you. You’re smarter than that.”

I hug myself tighter. “I said I was sorry. I messed up, okay? It’s not like you have an uncheckered past.”

He narrows his eyes. “There’s no comparison, and you know it. For one, you know better. And two, you have a fucking family who loves you. Hell, you have a whole tribe of people who aren’t your family who love you. What is so hard about your life that you’re willing to throw it all away for some shits and giggles in college, not to mention put yourself in danger the way you did tonight?”

I can’t argue because we both know he’s right. Everything he’s saying is true. I can’t justify it with any type of rationale, at least not that I can admit to him.

Or anyone else, for that matter.

“You’re about to lose your scholarship, aren’t you?”

I roll my eyes. “Great. Nothing is private. Who doesn’t my mom talk to? It’s not like I’m flunking my classes. I had a couple bad grades last semester. It dragged my GPA down. I can’t be perfect all the time.”

Rocco holds out a low hand. “There is a difference between perfection and what you did tonight. None of this is like you.”

I bring my hands up to fist my wet hair. “My parents’ expectations are bad enough. I can’t take it from you too. I’m doing my best.”

“Tonight was your best?”

Tears flood my eyes. I can’t make them stop. As much as I want to be right here, I can’t take it from him and whisper, “Please don’t do this.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

I shake my head.

His whole demeanor changes. It’s like I didn’t wake him from a sound sleep and make him pick me up from the police station. He’s like he’s always been with me—patient and sweet.

“You can talk to me, Teagan. You always have. Nothing has changed. If you need me, I’m here.”

I huff out a ridiculous, exasperated laugh as I swipe my cheeks. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

He tips his head and shoots me the same smirk I’ve become obsessed with over the years. “Is that a challenge? Don’t tell me there’s something I can’t do.”

I shake my head. “Can and will are two very different things. I know better than anyone not to get them confused.”

The smirk disappears. “It’s me. Do you really think there’s anything I wouldn’t do for you?”

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