Page 63 of Illicit

And, with that, my life is over.

Of course, his hand returns to my face where he forces me to look at him.

He licks his lips as his gaze roams my face before he states, “Jed is great.”

My face warms. “He is. I mean, he is now. He wasn’t for a long time. I’m happy for him. We’re good friends.”

“Is he the kind of friend who knows you’re meeting people like Robichaux by yourself?”

I frown. “No way. I don’t tell him things like that. He’d kick my ass over FaceTime.”

“Then Jed is great.”

I don’t want to talk about Jed. It only reminds me of my lie. But I was desperate. If I explained the whole thing to Jed, he would have wholly supported my lie. He’s the only other person in the world who knows everything about Rocco.

Rocco doesn’t say anything else or ask why I lied about Jed. He contemplates me like I’m one of his cases and he’s trying to make two and two equal four, but the math just won’t math.

“I need to get up,” I blurt.

He narrows his eyes and changes the subject. “For being so small, you’re a bed hog.”

“I can’t help what I do in my sleep. I was freezing. You could hang meat in here.”

He hikes a brow and smirks. “I do … hang meat in here.”

I roll my eyes. Men will always be boys when it comes to penis jokes.

But he doesn’t stop. “You practically pushed me off the bed. I was hanging on for my life. It was scarier than sparring with Robichaux’s men last night.”

My expression falls. “That’s not funny. I feel horrible about that.”

“You should,” he keeps on. “I had to wrestle you in the middle of the night with my bad arm. I had no choice but to pin you down.”

I need to change the subject. “Your movers will be here soon, and we need to pick up my car.”

He shakes his head. “This is just getting interesting. I wish I’d known last night that you were lying to me about Jed. I felt fucking guilty with you in my bed. I know we haven’t talked in almost two years, but I’m not that kind of guy. Don’t expect me to be the other man. I respect myself more than that.”

“You said yourself I was full of shit. I was having a moment, okay? Can you blame me? I’m not normally a liar.”

“I’m not letting you off the hook. And I’m standing my ground on the kiss.”

My eyes widen. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

His expression goes dead serious and causes my heart to speed. I might be a young, healthy woman, but my body can’t take the whiplash this morning. “I’ll remind you—it means the next time we kiss, you’ll have to ask for it. And from the way we woke up this morning, I have no doubt that will happen.”

I shake my head. “Stop it.”

He frames my chin in his hand to hold my head still. “I’m not going to bullshit you—what happened two years ago fucked me up. And you know I’m already fucked up in the head, so that’s saying something.”

“Don’t say that.” I defend Rocco to himself. “You’re not fucked up in the head.”

“I am,” he argues. “The only thing I could think of after it happened was that I could lose everyone in my life, when in reality, I lost you.”

“I told you that was my fault.”

He ignores me. “I had two years to let that shit fester. It ate away at me. Crawled under my skin in a way I couldn’t get away from it.”

“What are you saying?” I whisper.

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