Page 89 of Illicit

I have no choice but to grip his forearms and hang on. Whatever this is, I’m here for it. Because this is different.

Ever since Rocco pushed his way into my life uninvited, it’s been everything from angsty to passionate. He’s been demanding and generous. And, per his stupid rule, there’s been no sex, but that doesn’t mean they haven’t been the hottest experiences of my life.

Yet, this is something new.

Rocco breaks his kiss and tips his forehead to mine. His eyes are closed, and his wide chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.

I squeeze his wrists. When his eyes open, I see it—the difference between this kiss compared to any other intimate interaction we’ve had.

This is raw.

His fingers press into my scalp where he still holds me. “You’re one of the few people in this world off-limits to me. You’re also one of very few who know the old me and the new me. The fact that you’re standing here in my arms feels as taboo as it does perfect. I should focus on the fact your dad might kill me, or the fact the agents will have his back, or I could just be an asshole and enjoy it while I can since it’s a secret. But all I can do is think about how you’re about to slip through my fingers, and it will be my own damn fault.”

I have to squint since the fiery ball in the sky bears down on us. “You really carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, don’t you?”

There’s a tick in his jaw. “Move to New York and that will for sure be the case.”

That thought makes me sick to my stomach—both the move and his guilt.

“I didn’t know this was going to happen. I’ll admit it—my move to New York was pure self-preservation. The thought of living in the same city as you was painful. I knew I wouldn’t be able to take it.”

His grip on my face tightens. I have a feeling he’s about to revisit the same argument he’s touched on more times than I can count, but I’m saved by the bell.

Or his cellphone.

He lets go of me, pulls it from his pocket, and frowns when he reads the screen.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“Brax.” He sends it to voicemail and turns back at me. He braces both hands on the roof of my car behind me, boxing me in. “Stay.”

My mouth gapes. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t go to New York. Stay in Miami. Be there for Sammie and her baby. For your parents.” He leans in closer and gives me the heat of his body again. “But for more than anything, stay for me.”

I put my hands to his sides. “Rocco?—”

His cell rings again.

“Dammit,” he grits.

I have no desire to have this conversation in the summer heat. “He seems insistent. You’d better answer that.”

He shakes his head and touches the screen almost violently. He greets one of his best friends in the world as if he interrupted a meeting discussing State secrets. “You’re fucking needy today. What do you want?”

Rocco

“Maybe we need a code word or a bat signal since we’ll be working together. Sometimes I call with important shit. I’ve texted you five times and called three. Answer your damn phone.”

I’ve been too wrapped up in baring my soul to Teagan in hopes it will make her rethink her move. Hell, I’m not above begging. That will come next.

It was easy to ignore him.

I don’t move away from Teagan. I want to get to the hotel I booked for us tonight in the Florida panhandle, but the thought of getting closer to Miami brings the reality of this ending.

Which is what brought me to my new low of begging her to stay. I even emotionally guilted her with her sister and new baby.

“I have news,” Brax states gravely. “And you’re not going to like it.”

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