Page 69 of Keys

Do you want to end the ride?

I snuggled tighter to his body for a moment, taking in the leather scent of his kutte that mixed with the rain and the spicy scent of the cologne he wore tonight. The gesture was my own non-verbal answer.

No, I want to fly with you a little bit longer.

There was something inside me that knew he understood the words we didn’t speak, just as I had also understood.

He patted my thigh in acknowledgement and then opened his Harley up a bit on the straightaway for a few minutes before having to slow once again to take the series of curves that we rode up on. The tail of my braid tried to flip up and dance in the wind. The same wind that blew rough across my face as our speeds soared higher, and then settled again to a gentle caress as we decelerated. When we continued to slow, I glanced around to see what was going on.

We pulled into a little Italian restaurant. One of only three in as many counties around us, and the only place you needed a reservation for on most nights.

“What are we doing here?” I asked as he killed the engine and removed his helmet.

He grinned at me then glanced at the sign over the door before looking back over his shoulder at me once more. “Well, Keys, it’s a restaurant. Most people eat at these kinds of places, but if you had something else in mind…?” His voice trailed off and dissolved into laughter as I playfully swatted his backside. It was a bad angle, considering I was still squished up on him so tightly, but the gesture made him laugh harder. “BDSM instead of pasta, gotcha! I’m down.”

“Oh, you’ll be down all right. Tied down. Going down. Down for the count.” I teased.

Quickshot was off his motorcycle quicker than a flash, and had his hands wrapped around either side of my face before his mouth crashed on mine and showed me exactly who would be in charge once we made it to an appropriate place where people’s grandparents weren’t gawking at our display from behind the lightly tinted windows.

“I think your plans sound way more fun than mine were, but since we’re here, we can fuel up before we experiment with how many ways we can fit the word ‘down’ into the sex equation.” He winked at me and then slipped his hands down under my arms and lifted me completely free of his bike before setting my unstable legs down on the pavement. It wasn’t the ride that made me wobbly. His show of strength had left its mark. Then he left another mark for me to remember the night by as he swatted my ass to the point it stung. The asshole left his palm there to guide me into the restaurant, as a reminder of who would be in charge of our sexy times later.

As soon as we were seated, Quickshot smiled at me in such a way that I was taken aback by the sheer uncertainty I saw play out across his features. “Seriously, I want you to know that this time is different.”

Something ugly gnawed at my gut as he spoke. My insecurities warred with what I thought I knew to be true. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, last time, you laid down the law and it was supposed to be only about sex. That’s not what I want this time, all joking aside. Sex is icing on the cake, babe, but I want to be able to savor the cake too.”

I grinned. “The cake being me?”

“You’re the whole package, Sarah.” He used my given name, and I had to think it was just to punctuate how serious he was being. “I want us to know one another, to be able to spend time outside of the sexual stuff too.”

I reached over and held his hand in my own. “I want that.” The admission rolled off my tongue and for once, there was no hesitation. I wasn’t too proud to take responsibility for my own demands sinking any chance we had at trying this relationship thing before. My own rules were the reason that Quickshot was so quick with the denials to his club brothers. He’d programmed himself to do it for so long it had become second nature. Did it still hurt? Was it still impossible to unhear his declarations from that time? You betcha! Time gives us the ability to have perspective though and to rethink where it all went wrong. I knew it all started with my own damn declaration of secrecy.

“Can I ask you something?” The words were out of my mouth before I could pull them back. The question that had been nagging at me was a holdover from the way we were together before. It was something I had always been curious about.

“Anything,” he responded.

“When we’re together, you’re far more serious.” Quickshot cocked his head to the side and grinned at me. I could see the question in his eyes, though he didn’t ask it, instead allowing me to continue with my explanation. “When I first met you, my thought was: ‘this guy is life’s class clown’.” He chuckled at that.

“My parents would probably agree with that assessment.”

“But when it’s just the two of us, you’re not that way.”

The grin slipped from his face. “We joke around too,” he insisted.

I nodded my head quickly in agreement. “We do, but then you’re serious, and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Honestly, it’s part of the reason I agreed to make things serious and public before.”

“Okay?” He questioned still not getting it. Then, as if a light went off clarity shown brightly in his eyes, and it was his turn to take my hand in his as our gazes locked. “I love being playful with you. I love that your sense of humor works with mine and you don’t just think I’m some dumbass man-child.” I lifted my shoulders and offered up a dubious smirk, as if to counter his last statement, to which the man simply laughed before the rest of what he was saying managed to sober him up. “My playful side is a diversion most of the time. I keep people off balance using it. No one ever overestimates the clown.”

“Just the opposite,” I surmised.

Quickshot nodded. “With you,” he hesitated a moment before asking a question. “Can I be completely honest about this?” I agreed with the slightest tilt of my head. “I saw the potential for my playful demeanor to be discounted by you. I didn’t want you to see me as just a joke. There’s more to it though. I also didn’t want you to think that I discounted you in any way. What I want from you is serious. What I want you to really know about me is serious too. There’s plenty of time to be playful, but with you, I also wanted to be real.”

I stared into his eyes, willing my heart to continue beating like normal, even as I felt the damn thing crack wide open for the man sitting before me. He wanted me to have something real. He wasn’t done though.

“After you told me a little about your family, I understood that it was exactly the way things needed to be.” He chuckled lightly, though the humor was lacking from his eyes. “Not that I didn’t still fuck it all up anyway the first time around.”

I shook my head then. “Don’t. That wasn’t entirely on you. Not that I’m excusing the things you said, but the responsibility for why you had to say them rests squarely on my shoulders. We’re both to blame for the first time fuck up. I guess its to be expected from two people who don’t necessarily believe that relationships can be lasting and healthy in our world.”

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