Page 56 of We Can Forever

“Thank you,” I whisper into his flannel shirt. Taking a deep inhale, I step back. If I stay pressed against him any longer, I might get too relaxed and fall asleep while standing. At this point, I’m pretty sure it’s only adrenaline keeping me going. “Her ankle was swollen. She passed out. I don’t know if it’s her lupus…”

I trail off. How much of this have I told him? Our phone call seems days ago.

A door opens, and the doctor that we saw with Maya earlier emerges. I nearly sprint to her.

“Is she okay?” I ask.

The woman smiles. “It’s not lupus nephritis, which is good. It’s just a run-of-the-mill kidney infection. A pretty awful one, but she’ll be just fine. I’d like to keep her overnight to monitor her and then send her home in the morning.”

“Thank God.” My shoulders drop with the biggest sigh that’s ever existed. The rest of the crafting group gathers round, asking questions. Knowing they can report back to me, I head for the bathroom.

I need to splash some water on my face. Wake myself up. Now that I know Maya is all right and I’ve relaxed some, I’m even more exhausted.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell Michael, giving his hand a squeeze, and then dip into the women’s bathroom before anyone can talk to me.

The fluorescent lights are too bright, and my skin aches. There’s a pounding in my temples, and my whole head feels as heavy as a bowling ball. I just need a little refresher…just a moment to get myself together.

After splashing water on my face, I dry it with paper towels and put my glasses back on. The woman in the mirror looks absolutely drained—which is a shock.

I thought I was doing so well this week. Yes, I’ve been busy, but I’ve been managing it.

The door opens, and in the bathroom mirror, I see my aunt enter. “There you are,” she says.

“Hey.” Turning around, I put on a smile, but she sees right through it.

“Are you all right?” She touches my forehead.

“Fine,” I lie. “And the doctor said Maya will be okay. It’s a kidney infection.”

She nods. “Michael told me.” Her frown doesn’t go anywhere. “Hannah, you need to go home and rest.”

“I know. I am.” With great effort, I push off from where I’ve been leaning against the counter.

Chewing my bottom lip, I lead the way out of the bathroom. I’ll just go home and climb into bed early… Then, in the morning…

Black spots appear in front of me, and the waiting room tilts.

“Hannah!” Katie yells.

I feel her arms go around me, but she’s so small, she struggles to keep me up. I reach my hand up, grabbing on to the back of a chair.

“We got you.” My aunt grabs me from behind, helping Katie to hold me up.

“Hey.” It’s Michael’s deep, calm voice. “Hannah. Sit down. Here you go.”

Someone puts a chair behind me, and I comply. Everything is still blurry, and a searing ache is entering all my joints, from my shoulders to my feet.

“What do you need?” Michael crouches in front of me.

“She needs rest.” Carol’s voice is sharp. “She shouldn’t be here. She needs to be home.”

She sounds angry, but with whom, I don’t know. “It’s not their fault,” I mumble.

“Hannah.” She crouches in front of me, right next to Michael. “I’m calling a doctor to take a look at you.”

Tears fill my eyes. I can’t believe I’m stealing all the attention from Maya. She’s the one hospitalized. “I just need to go to bed. I’m… This is a flare.”

It’s hard to get out, so hard to admit that I haven’t been taking care of myself properly. I pushed too hard again, and the emotional stress around Maya has tipped me over the edge.

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