Page 75 of We Can Forever

“No.” She gives me a hard look. “The station is yours now. You’re doing a great job as fire chief, and you need to do what you think is best. This renovation should never have been about my trying to connect with your father. It’s your time to shine…and it’s my time to trust you.”

I’m so taken aback that I don’t even know what to say. It’s everything I needed to hear but didn’t know I needed to. I never realized how important her support is to me.

“Thank you,” I settle for mumbling. “I appreciate that. There’s…more to it for me. It hit hard when you asked me to do what Dad wanted because…”

My chest constricts. Can I even go through with admitting this?

But she sits there patiently, waiting, and we’ve come so far in this conversation already. Why not go all the way? Clear every inch of air between us?

“It’s complicated,” I say, “the way I feel about Dad. When we last spoke…”

“It was an argument.”

“Right.” I grimace. “Exactly. What he said about me not raising Katie right, it still haunts me. Even though I brought her back here. And it makes me question everything else I do too. Then whenever you or anyone on this island second-guesses me—” I shake my head, still holding on to some pride and not willing to admit how insecure all this shit makes me feel.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” she says. “And as far as your father goes, he did struggle with you always doing things your own way. That’s no secret. He loved Pine Island and couldn’t understand why you wanted to move off it. He always assumed that you would come back when you had a family, and your not doing that was even more perplexing. But those were his limitations to deal with, and it was unfair of him to take his emotions out on you. He knew that…even if he never said it.”

I catch her eye. “He did?”

She nods once. “Yes. He regretted what he said that night, Michael. I know he did, even if he never apologized.”

I sigh, wondering if I can believe her, the person who knew my father better than anyone. Then again, why not let myself believe her? Why not give myself the gift of releasing this burden?

“You’re a wonderful father to Katie,” she says. “You always have been, whether in Seattle or on the island. Deep down, your father knew that.”

I nod, my throat too thick to speak. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The heartbreak from what happened with Hannah is still here, but at least I feel a little lighter—like I can go forth in the world trusting everything will be all right.

It’s not like I’ll never second-guess my parenting or my job as chief again, but I feel more confident knowing that my parents never thought I was a complete screwup.

“Have you heard from Hannah?” she asks.

The change in topic takes me by surprise, and I gape at her. “Uh…no. And I’m not expecting to.”

“Oh.” She stands and buttons her coat. “Well, don’t give up just yet. She might need some more time to come around to her true feelings, is all.”

I digest that, wanting to ask more, but she’s already out the door. I’m left alone in the office, my dinner in front of me, new questions swirling in my head.

Does my mom know something I don’t? Does it even matter?

Fixating on Hannah will get me nowhere. The best thing I can do is focus on my life—my kid, my work, bettering myself—and stay open to the possibility that somehow, someday, Hannah and I will find our way back to each other.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

HANNAH

“Have you talked to Michael at all?” Maya whispers, sidling up next to me.

I glance at her art class, busy knitting and crocheting away. It’s been a week since Katie asked me to help her create a present to cheer up her dad, and I still don’t have an answer for her.

I don’t have an answer when it comes to anything.

“No,” I admit to Maya.

I want to talk to Michael. Of course I do. Just like I want to be with him, just like I want his arms around me every night and his smile greeting me every morning.

But I feel frozen by the unknown. Things might be simple in my little bubble that encompasses Knit Happens and my weekly classes and meetups with the girls—and a flare here and there—but at least I know what to expect. The biggest curve balls that come my way are having to shut down the shop for a day because of a flare or scrambling to find supplies when an order is late coming in.

I’m safe here in this bubble. Lonely, yes. But safe.

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