Page 114 of A Study of Blood and Ichor

I could only nod in answer because my head was a jumble of thoughts all at once. He needed time? When my soul had been the one dragged from fuck knows where and back, he was the one who needed time?

Admittedly, it was confusing to figure out where he and I stood now. He no longer needed to possess my body, so did he even need—let alone want—me at all? I’m not sure why I doubted it, even after everything we’d been through. But I couldn’t help the thoughts from swarming in when he was acting this reserved.

I did everything in my power to avoid turning to meet Vain’s gaze, even when I felt it burn against the back of my neck. It was as if my body and mind were rejecting the lack of him, and there was no way to completely ignore how badly I wanted to close the distance that separated us, no matter how hard I tried.

I woke in the middle of the night with Ava’s body still folded against mine, noting the soft pattering of rain against the windows. The light from the city cast the room in a soft orange glow, reflections of the raindrops trailing down the glass glittered on the ceiling like diamonds.

I couldn’t be sure how long I laid there, content to listen to the rain and Ava’s steady breathing as I inhaled the scent of her. But underneath the familiar tea and eucalyptus, was something new, a recognizable musk that reminded me faintly of charcoal and warm cloves—Vain’s mark on her now that their bond was in place.

A dark, looming presence crept out from the shadows. When I looked up, Vain stood tall and rigid, a thin sliver of light scarring down one side of his face as he leaned against the doorway. With his hands dug into the pockets of his black pants, I fought to keep my attention from falling to his bare chest. He was so incredibly still except for the long trailing gaze he dragged along Ava’s figure that hung halfway out of the covers until his stare caught mine.

His eyes flashed like opals, reflective and iridescent in the darkness, offering a glimpse of the otherworldly being that he was. But I couldn’t find it within me to be afraid of him. Of course, I feared some of the things he could do, but I never feared him.

In that moment, he looked at me with a glint of hunger, and I swallowed hard as his gaze devoured me whole. But there was something about his stance that remained hesitant in the way that he clung to the shadows, and it took me a moment to realize why.

From our very first moment when he came to me and offered me a second chance at life, he’d always given me a choice.

And even now, he was allowing me to choose him.

Though we were no longer one mind, I liked to think he knew me well enough that he could read the silent invitation in my eyes. To my relief, he did.

He padded toward the bed, a slow prowl as Ava continued to sigh deeply against my bare chest. The mattress shifted under Vain’s weight as he slipped beneath the sheets to curl himself along Ava’s backside. Once settled against her, he released a low and satisfied hum, his soft warm exhale brushing my face.

“Are you angry with me?” he asked, his voice little more than a low whisper.

I managed to catch his gaze and my heart skittered in my chest. “Do you think I should be?”

“I asked of her what you could not,” Vain said. “However selfish my reasons were, I could not lose you. I refused it.”

My face warmed at his admission, and knowing he could likely see it even in the dark only made my whole body heat more. “I know. I am grateful.”

“Truly?”

“Have a look in my head if you think I’m lying.” That earned me a soft chuckle as Vain lightly shook his head. “I could never resent you for the choice you made for me. The choice you both made. But I’m still struggling to feel deserving of it.”

I tore my gaze away, pressing my face into Ava’s hair as she remained asleep between us.

“Rory, look at me.”

I swallowed the ache in my throat as I did, finding Vain’s eyes inches from mine. He blinked and his irises flashed iridescent again, beautiful and unsettling all at once.

“You are deserving of more than you realize. I have fought for you to see that since our first day, and even if it takes every day we have after for you to know it, then I will not stop fighting for you.”

He reached across Ava and took my hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth. He brushed his lips over my wrist, my knuckles, to the pads of my fingertips, and every nerve in my body sparked with the itch to draw myself closer toward him. Vain may have no longer possessed my soul or shared my body, but having him this close felt right, like I was completely whole.

With the three of us wrapped up in each other, I wished I could stop time in that moment so I would never have to give it up, not when it felt this perfect. Not when I felt content for the first time in my life.

THIRTY-FOUR

Ava

Istirred awake with two warm chests pressed against me, one to my back and another at my front. The bond between Vain and I fluttered in my stomach, and a smile dragged across my lips. It was impossible to not feel happy with both men at my side. There was nowhere else I wanted to be but with them, together.

I felt a gentle tug from the other end of the bond, a shimmer of warmth that hummed through every nerve in my body. It was going to take a while to get used to that. When I opened my eyes, the demon lying in front of me nearly took my breath away.

Words could barely begin to describe him. He was by far the most beautiful demon I’d ever laid eyes on, which I supposed made sense seeing as he was an archdemon. Their beauty was as mesmerizing as it was terrifying—unmatched in every way—and Vain was no exception.

His eyes were closed, and I studied his thick lashes fluttering over the sharp structure of his cheekbones and watched the steady rise and fall of his broad chest. The pale ivory of his skin and his soft silvery hair contrasted his sculpted dark brows. Vain was crafted in facets both of light and dark, a juxtaposition of the cursed being that he was, and a demon with more of a soul than I once could have ever believed was possible.

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