Page 68 of Lilly

I nod. "Dad said it's a new rule but honestly, it's always been an option. When Kiefer told them he didn't want to join, they would've killed him if he'd had nothing to offer them. Luckily they needed his skills so his life was spared but they took away his career and family as punishment. As far as I know, Dean doesn't have much to offer. Yeah, they could use him as a connection into Hollywood and the L.A. society scene but they already have people for that. He's not critical to their plans. They don't need to keep him around."

She glances down at her hands, which are resting in her lap. "I thought William had changed things. Grace always tells me things are better there now. That they're not like they used to be."

"Better for them still isn't what we'd consider good. As far as I know, they're still controlling key political positions and they still get rid of people who stand in their way."

Her eyes go to mine. "Then I'm agreeing with your father. Lilly can't be part of this. She needs to end her relationship with Reed."

"She'll only do that if he tells her the truth. And even then, she still may not agree to it. When you're in love, you'll do anything to be with the person. It clouds your judgment."

"Like with you and Jade."

"And you and Dad."

She smiles slightly. "I guess we've all been through this, haven't we? Just in different ways."

"It worked out for us. Maybe it could work out for Lilly. We just have to find a way."

"I don't know if there is one."

"I don't either. I keep trying to think of an alternative but I can't come up with any ideas."

"Maybe it's for the best if Lilly ended things with Reed and we didn't even try to make this work."

"Why?" I ask, surprised at her suggestion. She's always the optimist, always believing things will work out.

"Your father risked everything to be with me and look what happened. They tried to kill me. And with you and Jade, your father took a huge risk once again to keep you out of having to join."

"And it ended up getting Grace's husband killed," I say, knowing where she's going with this.

"I want Lilly to be happy. We all do. But I'm not willing to put our entire family at risk for Lilly to be with Reed. If she becomes part of it, your father will have to be involved in it again. He'll have to know what's going on there, meaning he'll have to attend all the meetings and do the assignments. He'll be part of that world again, exposing us all to it. And years from now, when he's gone..." She looks at me.

"I'd have to be part of it," I say, finishing her thought.

I hadn't considered it before now, but she's right. If my dad was gone, I'd have to take his place. I'd have to know what's going on there that might affect Lilly. I wouldn't trust Reed to do it. He doesn't know them the way I do. Even if he'd been a member for years, I still wouldn't trust him to keep her safe. Or to keep my own family safe. With Lilly part of it, I'd be on their radar again. They'd want me back. And if I didn't join voluntarily, they'd force me to. And then they might try to get my children, my two boys, when they come of age. There's no way I could risk letting that happen.

"She has to break up with him," I say, resigning to the fact. I wish there was another way but there isn't, and although I feel bad for Lilly, I also know this is the right thing to do.

I'm starting to understand how my dad felt when he kept trying to get me to break up with Jade. He was trying to protect me, and trying to protect Jade. He knew I would hate him for it but he did it anyway because he had no other choice.

"How did your father keep you away from Jade?"

I've never told her much about that time in my life. It was a rough time, for all of us, so I don't talk about it.

"I didn't listen to him," I say. "I went behind his back. I bribed people to keep quiet and not tell him. But he still found out."

"And what did he do?"

"Yelled at me. Repeatedly. Threatened to send me to a different college to get me away from her. I thought for sure he'd take Jade's scholarship away so she'd be forced to leave, but he didn't. He never even threatened to take it away. He wanted her to have an education. So he let her stay there but kept warning me something bad would happen if I didn't get away from her. At one point, I told her I couldn't see her anymore but it didn't last. I couldn't stay away from her. I loved her in a way I knew I'd never love anyone else, so I couldn't just let her go. It wasn't even an option until...until they threatened her life."

"But by then you knew about the organization. You knew it was real and you knew what they would do if you didn't go along with their demands."

"Which is why we have to tell Lilly the truth. If we don't, she'll just keep going out with Reed. Even if Dad sent her to a different college, she'd find a way to see Reed. If she really loves him, she's not going to let Dad stop her."

"Do you think she does? I know she says she loves Reed, but when I was that age, I thought I was in love too, but I wasn't. It wasn't until I was older and met your father that I understood what love really felt like and that I'd found it. So when Lilly says she loves Reed, I want to believe her but part of me questions if she really does. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that to make this easier on her."

"It's not going to be easy, no matter what her feelings are for Reed. Honestly, I don't know that much about their relationship. She doesn't talk to me about that stuff so it's hard to say. I know she loves him. I just don't know how much, and if it's something that will last. When she told you she wants to marry him, was she being hypothetical or did she seem serious, like it's something she might actually do?"

"She seemed serious."

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