Page 17 of Unholy Matrimony

Pavel is back in the driver's seat, “Where are we headed, Miss Kalina”. I give him the address to Nastya’s shop and he nods. The car pulls away from the curb. Mama says nothing as we drive to the shop, but Raisa has all the questions.

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, right? Is the house big or like a little shack?” She is fishing for information.

“15Da, I am okay. I promise. He has not hurt me. He has been extremely kind and accommodating,” I throw in, “I have my own room and it has a gorgeous bed in it.” The fact that I am lying makes my stomach feel a little sour, but I don’t want them to think badly about Lenya. I want them to believe he is doing everything that was agreed upon. Raisa continues to bombard me with questions and when I look over, Mama is distant.

We arrive at the shop, and Pavel gets out and holds the door open for us. The three of us exit the vehicle and Pavel clears his throat. “I’ll be here waiting.”

“Okay, thank you, Pavel,” I reply as I hold on to the shop door. He nods and leans up against the car, taking the cigarette from his ear and lighting it up. I walk into the shop, praying this goes well and honestly quickly.

Nastya has a selection of dresses already set out on a rack near the triple mirrors. Mama and Raisa are looking through them, muttering to each other. I am already flustered and ready to leave. Mama turns to me and snaps, “Well, get over here and see if there is anything you like. The quicker we find something, the sooner I can get back to your papa. I had to be away from the warehouse for this.”

She shows her annoyance, making the situation worse. Raisa is like every little girl and adores everything about this. “You know even though he is a jerk, I can’t wait to see you in a pretty dress,” she smiles at me. I love her so much. She has always brought that bit of happiness into unpleasant situations.

When Mama is out of earshot, I turn to Raisa. “You know he isn’t so bad. He is kind to me, and he speaks to me with respect. He wants me to be happy, believe it or not.”

“Why would he force you to marry him, then? Couldn’t he have asked to be your boyfriend? You know, like a normal guy,” she retorts. I cannot tell her about how her dear papa was plotting to marry me off. As much as I hate him right now, I won’t taint her view of him.

I shrug my shoulders, and say “Lenya is different, I guess. He knows he wants to marry me, so he just made it happen. Like I said, he isn’t so bad. The little I have been able to get out of him is quite contradictory to what we have heard about him.” It feels like I am trying to sell my sister on him. It feels so strange.

“Oh, it’s Lenya now, huh?” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. I can't keep a straight face. Mama is on her way, so I quickly grab a dress.

“I like this one!” I blurt out, hoping she accepts it.

As I stand in front of the mirrors, the dress doesn’t look too bad. It’s got lovely lace sleeves that hit just under my elbows, a full coverage bodice, and a short train. I feel like the dress was tailored to fit me perfectly. Raisa looks at me and her mouth is hanging open. “Oh Lina, you’re beautiful! That has to be it. It's almost too perfect. Modest but so, so pretty.” I stand there and just stare at myself. Nastya is looking over the dress on me, trying to find something that she will have to alter. Looking over at my mama, Nastya snorts.

“It's a perfect fit. I have to do no altering at all. Makes simple work, I suppose.”

Mama stares at me in the mirror. “Are you sure this dress will be acceptable to him? I don’t want to come back because he won’t like it. Please be sure, Lina.” I nod my head and she looks over at Nastya. “This will be perfect. Do you have a solid white platok that she can use as a veil?”

“Of course, I'll add it to the dress bag.” Nastya said.

As the dress gets bagged up, I ask Mama, “Do you want to grab brunch, or maybe even tea?” I am aching to spend time with them, so I won’t be so lonely until Lenya returns home.

My mama pulls me aside, and with her icy dagger eyes staring hard, says, “You don’t fool me, Lina. I am your mother. I birthed you and raised you. You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?” I shift uncomfortably and look down at the floor. That is enough of an answer for her.

“Your father was right about you. So eager for someone to love you, that you’d fall immediately for the first man who showed you an ounce of affection.” She grabs my arm and digs her nails in deep. “We could lose everything if you're not careful. Everything this family has worked so hard for will be gone.” My eyes water and just as she is about to continue her insults, Nastya walks back with the dress in a bag. I walk to the register and pay 600,000? for the dress. I have never in my life spent so much money at once.

Nastya hands me the dress, I push past my mama and make my way to the car. Once outside, I inhale a deep breath and try not to cry. Pavel meets me, concern in his eyes, and asks “Miss, what’s wrong?”

I can’t speak, I want to run, but I just stand there looking at the ground. I sniffled and looked back up at him. “Can you take this please, Pavel? We are going to be dropping my mother and sister off and then I want to find a bookstore, please.”

“As you wish,” he says. Taking the bag, he lays it gently in the trunk, then opens the door for me and I slide in and wipe the tears that fell. Pavel stands at the curb and opens the door for my sister and mother. Raisa takes one look at me, grabs my hand, and squeezes it.

The car ride is uncomfortable, as Raisa tries to make small talk and I just sit silent. She doesn’t deserve my coldness, but I don’t want to talk about anything in front of my mother. She will not get any information to feed my father. I hope they fear for their business after how they are treating me.

We pull up to the house and my mother doesn’t wait for Pavel to open the door; she gets out saying nothing. No goodbye. No, see you on Friday. Raisa leans over, hugs me, and kisses my face. “I’ll talk to them, Lina. Hopefully, it's just a bad day. Maybe it is work-related.” She gets out and waves goodbye as Pavel pulls away.

The tears silently fall.

1. Love

2. Love

3. my lion

4. my love

5. flower

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